All my friends are going away... To study somewhere else. Live to the other side of the world. Or something like that.
And I'm being left behind.
Its ok. I mean. I'm feeling more and more lonely as the days go by. But I know this is happening because i know deep inside I'm afraid of being alone, and seems like i need to face it no matter what.
I can't live all my life with this fear, and despite all the pain, the sadness and depression, I need this, so i can find the way out and not run away anymore... I guess… Find happiness being alone, or with people or whatever. And base my happiness on things that are more simple than relations and complicated stuff like humans. hehhe
But I hope I can meet more friends again.
They say happiness attracts/calls other peoples attention. And right now I'm in no condition to make new friends for i have this gloomy dark aura around me scaring everybody away hahaha.

Being alone makes me see the truth of things, of life. And I fear them.
Seeing the movement of everybody around me, makes me think of my own movement. And i kinda hate it. Because i can't seem move no matter how hard I try, i'm just not strong enough..
Everybody is like a mirror of my own limitations.

But at the same time, loneliness its a gift too.
I see in my solitude the Me that I like, and not the Me that tries to be "someone" among my friends.
I see the days go by like a silent movie.
A movie I enjoy watching.

Maybe I'm too young to really care about being completely alone.
Or maybe not. idk. lol

C05dub C05dub
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 21, 2014

I appreciate some "gloomy dark" realism once in a while. Everyone hides that side so much that it's refreshing when it comes out in public.

Yes. There comes a time when its too dense hiding it makes no sense. haha.