I Made The Decision To File Bankruptcy

My story seems to be typical: I was widowed about 7 years ago..my husband died suddenly of a heart attack, leaving me no life insurance (I THOUGHT there was some, but apparently he let the policy go). Since then , I have struggled...I was not working when he died, and after he died, discovered some bills that I didn't realize we had (my name was on them, so I am responsible). I went back to school, for medical transcription, but have not have much luck finding a job that will support me. I have gotten by for the past few years with help from friends/family, a very hand-to-mouth existence, having to depend on welfare for awhile, food stamps, and even pawning some of my possessions. I am 57 years old, and feel like I will never, ever get out from underneath this huge stress of having unpaid credit card balances, back taxes, now a student loan default, etc.

I am ashamed of myself. For not looking out for my own wellbeing when I thought I could trust my late husband, for taking some very bad financial advice at a very low point in my life, and for having to ask for money from family and friends. I can't live like this anymore.

So today I made the decision to start looking for a bankruptcy lawyer. I can't see any other way out of this mess. The stress of not answering the phone, for fear of collection agencies, the month by month struggle just to stay afloat. I just don't see any other possibility. I am nervous about going to see a lawyer, nervous about the whole process...BUT feel like I need a fresh start, despite the consequences of BK. It's a very frightening feeling.

thank you for reading this.