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Aug 21st, 2008
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fter doing everything that I could to keep from this, I've come to the realisation that I can no longer keep it up.
I had a good paying job that I moved to TX for and saved enough to buy a house last year. I was laid off within a few months of my closing on house. I cashed out my 2 401Ks and lived off that til I found a permanent job in April of this year. All credit cards have gone to collections and my last remaining medical bill is about to go to collections.
My ex partner who was supposed to pay 1/2 the mortgage and bills stopped paying in April but didn't tell me. I didn't find out til we were 2 months behind on the mortgage (he said that the first mortgage statement with a past due was because he paid late...he's still not paid it).
I just found out today that I'm going to foreclosure. I can't keep the house and I put together my income and expenses...I'm over $2K a month in debt. My new job only pays about 1/3 of my old job.
I can't keep up. To make matters worse, my car inspection failed yesterday and I need to come up with almost $800.00 to do necessary repairs in order to pass emmissions inspection. I can't afford this but can't afford to not have a car to get to work either.
I am drowning. I never thought I'd be in this spot. At age 43 I was supposed to have been doing far better and saving for retirement. I can't even imagine saving for retirement now.
I don't know where I'll go once I have to leave this house. I moved here from out of state for the job that I lost and have no family near by to help.
Right now, I can't even afford to pay for a bankruptcy attorney so I can file. I'm desperately trying to find a place to live that will accept bad credit/collections/foreclosure but it's not easy and those that do accept it are in horrible areas.
I feel like this is the end for me. I don't know if I will recover from this.
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  | Posted Aug 21st, 2008 at 11:39PM you will..........can you access a community financial counsellor? draw up a life plan and start from there.if you like I can help you as I was a financial counsellor.cheers   |
 | Posted Aug 26th, 2008 at 5:33PM 43 seems like the magic number for this. We're filing within a month and like you, I never thought I'd be here at this point in my life. It will get better, please try not to get too down on yourself. Chapter 7 is intended for situations like yours to give you a chance to start fresh. Check online for legal aid places that will assist you for free. If you meet the gov't criteria, you can get the filing fees waived as well. Good luck and keep in touch. dadof3 +2 nods |
 | Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 7:09AM You are certainly not alone. it may seem like things are crashing down, but it can't get much worse, until it starts to get better. I just lost my house, while starting a new business. I was really depressed about the whole thing. I used to think that I would never get in such a position, but you know what, sometimes things happen that are out of your control. My bankruptcy isn't discharged yet and I still feel the pressure of some bills, but there is a weight lifted of my shoulders. I have four kids and trying to explain why and how was tough. The light at the end of the tunnel... well, it's a cliche, but really it is getting better all the time. Good luck and you'll be through it before you know it. 45 and starting over... +2 nods |
 | Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 8:08AM I am 35 and embarking on this now for the first time in my life. I have been self employed for 10 years now and feel so deeply shamed at how I have failed to stop this from happening. The sense of failure is enormous and I wonder often if I am going to get through this. Its so scary and surreal all at the same time. Fortunately in South Africa we have Debt Counsellors who are able to stop a great deal of the action and assist you in paying down the debt. I know how you feel! And I so sorry that you are suffering the same experience. I think the hard part is letting go of the negativity this experience brings. If you are doing your best to sort it out and are working as hard as you can, then you are doing all you can to stop this from happening. As degrading as this experience is, you are still the same person. You are no less of a person because this is happening. Its happening to more people than you realise, which I know does not make it any less scary. I hope just knowing that a South African woman is going through this on the other side of the world, helps to at least make you feel comforted. You are not alone and in time this will pass and you will be stronger for it. Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. +2 nods |
 | Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 11:45AM My husband and I just lost our jobs as our company moved south. I have been deeply depressed and stressed. You are not alone. +2 nods |
 | Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 2:30PM Yikes. My suggestion is try to work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. It is something I wish I would have done once when my car was about to be reposessed. If I was in your situation, i would get a job in the evenings waiting tables, it pays cash immediately and if you are good you can make amazing tips. I'd also try working a weekend job at home depot or starbucks, you may find janitorial work in the evenings at a school. If you house is going to be foreclosed on, then only pay on what you are going to take with you and try to get an apartment now with the cheapest rate possible. With some hard work you can be back on your feet in a couple of years. Once, I worked 3 part time jobs and went to school full-time. It was HELL. But I kept my eye on the prize and now I know it is possible. Best of luck! +4 nods |
| Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 4:08PM Have faith-it does get better. I filed chapter 13, 8 years ago. No one tells you how hard this is. You agree to pay a (large) sum every month for 3 years. Ours was $1200. THEN you are thrown into the land of no credit--NO credit cards, NO "Charge it" It was a rude awakening to live $1200 short per month-then live off of what is left. We are out of this now. Yes it was low-hard, and really stank when I couldn't do things for my child I wanted to do--but she's 22 now and thinks that we had a good life together despite it all--Children are very forgiving, it's amazing. It CAN happen to anyone!! It is one of those thing you can't talk about,, but when you do finally open up to a friend (like I did),, you may find out that they too have been there. +2 nods |
 | Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 4:24PM You're definatley NOT alone. Even BANKS are failing. We had one fail in Washington State yesterday -- WaMu. What about moving back to where you have relatives who can help? |
 | Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 6:35PM Hello.. I just finished my bankruptcy. Try to either borrow the amount to start you bankruptcy or search for an attorney that takes payments. Perhaps on a chapter 13 bankruptcy. You still may be able to keep your house. Call and find out what your next step should be. It sounds to me that you are thinking of everything at once. The only way to get out of these difficult situations, is to do one step at a time. You will be surprised if you take that first step, the weight lifting off your shoulders. My prayers are with you.. I'm not a religious person, but hey.. I've been there recently and I have heart felt compassion for anyone in these predicaments. +2 nods |
 | Posted Sep 27th, 2008 at 8:10AM I too was in Texas when I found myself facing the a similar situation. Only divorce was the culprit and my ex refused to pay his half of the debts we had. Also was dealing with spinal surgery and recovery time. My family is up north but I decided to ask one close family member who was financially secure to borrow money for the attorney and a little extra to get myself back home. I also said I didn't know if I would ever be able to pay it back but I would do my best. It has been 11 years and it was the right decision. Yes, I have paid the money back and a good part of the loans I had when I filed. Moved back north and am living credit card and debt free. It will get better. Sometimes you have to ask for help and swallow your pride, but it's nothing to be ashamed about. Life is tough at best and a sense of humor can go a long way. Social services can help as well and the paperwork can be daunting. I also found that living with less seems to bring me more. Make a priority list and chisel a way through it even when you want to crawl under the covers and hide. My heartfelt good wishes to you. You are not alone. +4 nods |
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