He Thinks I'm Cheating On Him And I Really Am Not, What Do I Do?Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 4 years, and ever since about the third week into our relationship he has been accusing me of cheating on him. It has gotten to the point where he thinks I have another man in the house with me while he also is in the house, and that I'm screwing him in another part of the house behind his back. This crap is getting really really weird, and I'm to the point of walking, packing my stuff and getting the hell away from this psychotic man before he hurts me physically.
Some of the things he does to catch me cheating are so bizarre, like placing a recording device somewhere hidden in the house so he can catch me screwing some guy while he is not here. He's been doing that trick for about 3 yrs. now off and on, but lately it's been just about every day. The thing that really gets me though is there is absolutely nothing incriminating on those tapes, yet he will play them back for me in stereo and he picks out voices and sex noises and next thing you know he's calling me names and becoming violently angry at me, and I never did anything. I have practically pleaded with him to trust me, I have told him over and over that I am not that kind of person and I would never do that to him. I've tried explaining things about me as a person and that I don't believe in cheating in relationships, and that I have never in my life cheated on a boyfriend, however, I have been on the receiving end of that and have been cheated on by past boyfriends. I was married almost 20 yrs., and of all the problems me and my husband had, infidelity was never one of them. It goes against what I believe in, how I was raised, and it's just wrong any way you look at it. I've said all of these things to him until I'm blue in the face and nothing sinks in, he's just 100% positive that I am cheating on him and that's all there is to that. How do you deal with someone like that? You don't, it's impossible and there's absolutely nothing you can say or do that is going to change that.
A little about him now, since the beginning again, I discovered he was going to these internet sex dating sites and creating a profile soliciting himself for discreet sex with women who live in the area of where our house is. The first time I caught him doing this he apologized and said that he would not do it anymore, he also said he didn't mean anything by it and I bought it, I truly believed what he said to me. Well six months after that I caught him again doing the same thing, and we fought about it and he said again he would stop. So I kept my suspicions high this time, and started to watch his activity on the internet and on these sites, and he started joining more and more of them, all profiles were about the same, all led to the fact that he was looking for nooky on the side, wanted somebody who lived very close to our house, and he always listed himself as single. Anyway, he increased his extra curricular activities on the internet and every time I gathered up the evidence and showed him printouts of what he was doing or saying to some women he flat out denied the proof right there in front of his own eyes. So we would fight about it for few days, then make up until the next time, and this has been going on for almost 4 yrs. now. I can't leave the house and go the the store without being accused of stopping for a quickie on the way. And I am out of work right now, and every time I have gone on a job interview I have been accused of going to see "my boyfriend" and screwing him instead of going to job interview. I can't have any friends because I get accused again, I can't talk to anybody on the phone, get accused of it again, and the list goes on and on. He goes through our cell phone records and questions me about phone numbers that are new or he sees a pattern of calls to certain number, and like a dummy I go through and validate every single one of those phone numbers and he still calls me a liar. But anyway, like I said, I am finally at the point of walking away from all this crazy bs and never turning back, before I lose my sanity.
debgadway 46-50, F 3 Responses 0 Jan 5, 2012