I So Much Want to Be Faithful

 i want to be faithful to my husband that i took a vow to love and hold to death  due us part . i want to hold him in my arms for all life but  last year i found  number to a girl in his wallet and  it leaves me thinking that he may have cheated on me with her . see ia m a stay at home mom and she worked 2 jobs but she was or is married as well i was hurt beyond words and to this day i cant forget it i find myself thinking he will do it again . i feel less of a woman because i have no job but i have to be there for my kids . i want to cry but i cant when i kiss him i find myself disstant from him . he always has time to send moeny to his daughter  and talks normal to her and to his ex but when it comes to me its different he talks to me like i am a dog at times and he see there isnt anything wrong with that . i like the dream of ebing romantice i really do . but he doesnt . i thought if i got a man who was older than me he would be more  settled in life but i guess i was wrong . how can i get pass the momory of him cheating and how can i hold on to him how can i be what he wants me to be when i dont think i can . help me
queenpin queenpin
31-35, F
5 Responses Aug 14, 2007

I am reading a book now called "Not Just Friends" by Shirly P Glass. It has opened my eyes and heart to understanding my own husband's infidelity. It also has opened my eyes to my own reactions to his infidelity and has provided me with coping skills.<br />
<br />
I her book she gives us betrayed spouses permission to feel what we feel, tells us to give ourselves that permission and shows us coping skills for recovering and either moving on or forgiving and growing from the experience as a couple.<br />
<br />
Absolutely amazing book, it's saving my soul even if it may one day not save my marriage (though I suspect that indeed this book will be my marriage's saving grace) or will save it.

Hi, well I read another comment that you had cheated on him first I beleive...and well..you know for the most part a lot of women try to move on after a man cheats, but it is darn near impossible for men to get past it if a woman cheats it seems like-

It's not exactly nothing, to fnd a phone number in a wallet. If he didn't do anything with it, he certainly at least thought about it...it seems the love has gone out of your relationship. I would either find a way to find it again, however that could be achieved, or get out and start over. I know it's difficult with kids, but you ought to respect yourself enough not to be disrespected openly by your husband. Ask the woman in the mirror how she would like her life to look, and then do something about it.

Is that phone number in his wallet the only evidence you had that he cheated on you? Seems like very flimsy evidence to me?

Try to communicate openly with him. Let him know how you are feeling and that you are human and will not tolerate being treated like a dog. If all else fails and he continues his horrid treatment of you it is time for you to move on and better your life. Peace to you. J