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If It Means Anything ....

I have lost another sibling and that leaves only five of us now. Time seems to be racing by and not a lot is getting done as far as getting out of this horrible community. I have tried all that I know to do and nothing is working. Although I am not quite ready to throw in the towel I feel that somewhere along the way something good will eventually happen. There is so much negativitiy in the air and I do my best to avoid it but it always seems to knock on my door and slip in when the door is opened. With the death of my sister there is another storage shed to empty and more stuff to be placed and there is simply no more space for anything. All of my compartments are full. I have to do more fundraising events for my non profit and I am still working on getting everything in line for the internet radio and talk show as well as getting my new books ready to upload to kindle. Stayiing busy keeps my mind off of the negative stuff and it also makes me feel like I am at least trying to take steps to make a change for not only our non profit but for my family too.
We have giftwrapping fundraising coming up and photos with santa fundraisers and of course I am still typing away on grants that may never come. I saw an old friend the other day and her attitude had not changed at all. She was heading to a huge holiday dinner party and asked if I had any plans on attending or if I was still up to my elbows in helping the poor people and the dumb animals. I find it hard to believe that I was ever friends with her. I hate people like that. Her biggest problems are who is who and who is inviting her to what.
I worry about people who don't have much and I worry about animals who don't have anybody. Maybe it does take up all of my time and my thoughts but it is something that means something to me. If that is an issue than maybe its a good thing most all of my friends who did have an issue with that are no longer in my life.
We are all here for a reason and my reason is doing what I do and it is true I don't make a dime from it but deep down inside I am satisfied that I am making a difference. it might be small but its a start. I can sleep at night and I know that when my times come and I meet my maker and he asks me if I have done anything to make my part of the world a better place I can say, "I tried".
busybettyboop busybettyboop 46-50, F Dec 1, 2011

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