I fell in love with someone over Facebook but she is married and lives over 2000 miles away.. She defriended me for about 3 months, then out of the blue messaged me wanting to be friends again... Things are totally different between us now we hardly ever messaged each other, she says its because of attachment issues... ??
jaxon38 jaxon38
41-45, M
3 Responses Mar 2, 2015

Thank you for the advice I will definitely do that.. Lately anything I post on Facebook she comments on.. Like I posted earlier lunch with a? She commented if you weren't 50000 miles away we could be eating lunch together right now.. And yes I could use the time to find someone else but I wouldn't even know where to start.

That shouldn't be a problem. Facebook allows you to choose the settings on every post you make. When you make a post, you can choose who it should be visible to and who it should not be visible to. Next time when you post something, select the option of "Friends Except..." and select her name as the exception. That way all your friends, besides her, will be able to see and comment on your posts. That should help!
As for not knowing where to start...frankly, there is no specific rule or place to start. When you come across someone who ignites your interest, you will automatically know how and where to start. ;)

She's not happily married, yes we still message each other but not as much. We used to message each other everyday constantly and grew very close.. She developed feelings for me also.. she doesn't message me as much now because of attachment issues. Now I find myself trying to stay away from facebook as much as possible..

I think it will do you good if you abstain from messaging her. She defriended you earlier, which actually showed that she didn't even consider how you'd feel if she did that, and took her time to sort out things in her mind. When she felt better and more sorted out in her mind, she got back and friended you again. However, the more you stay in touch with her, interacting via messages, your feelings will become deeper and since there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of this tunnel, it will only cause you to hurt inside. It's in your best interest to stop communicating with her, maybe even go off Fb for some time. And, perhaps, utilize that extra time to find someone special who you can actually have a relationship with. I am sure that'll make you happier. :)

It's not every day that one falls in love. And, its even rare if it happens online, when you haven't physically been with the person. Think about the multitude of people in this world that either don't find that special someone in their life or end up comprising with someone that they don't really love. I think, you're lucky to have found love in the cyber world. At a time when love itself is so rare, distance shouldn't really be an impediment. If both of you are certain of how you feel about each other, then one of you can travel to the country/city of the other person to be together and get to know each other better. Perhaps, it'll also be a good test of how deep your feelings run. After all "Distance means so little when someone means so much."

All that you say is true but she is married.. and thats why cant be with her..??

I noticed that but, I thought, probably she's not happy in her marriage and may be open to consider putting an end to it.
So, are you guys still messaging each other? You said things are completely different between you and her now, different like how?
Also, I think, if she wants to keep her marriage probably you should refrain from prolonging your association with her. Considering the fact that you already have feelings for her, prolonging your association will only draw you closer to her and cause you more hurt since she wants to keep her marriage.