I Met Him Through Facebook
It started with chatting on Facebook. He was reaching out for someone to love. I got to know him through some of the notes he posted on Facebook and learned of his backround, his church ministries, and his illness.
When I read his note describing some of what he is going through with his life threatening illness, it broke my heart. I cried realizing how much I don't understand about life and death. I take for granted so much, and this man, who is my age (29) does not know how much longer he will live. I sent him a heartfelt response to one of his messages which blessed him deeply to the point he wanted to talk to me.
Unfortunately, at the time, I was with my husband. He knew I was married and so did not pursue me yet. He respected that I did not want him to contact me via phone. But he did not know why I was so cautious.
But soon after we met online, my husband and I had a terrible altercation which resulted in him being incarcerated for a time due to domestic violence. I decided it was time to get out of this relationship where I had suffered a lot of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. There had been infidelity, alcoholism, and a lot of mistrust. I had tried my best over the last 7 years we had together to make it work, but my energy has exhausted and my ability to give him another chance is non-existant.
So a few days after he was arrested, I decided to find out where I will be staying with my children. And then things seemed to fall into place nicely after that. I know God had his hand in it and had provided my way out of this relationship. I would not have done it under my own power.
A room became available, and I made plans to move. I set up my younger boy with a babysitter.
I filed for a restraining order as to prevent my husband from trying to stop me, also to keep him from taking my kids and going to Mexico where he has strong ties (house, animals, property.) For the last 7 years, my husband has said he wanted to go back to Mexico. Each year he'd say, God willing, I'm going this year. So It would not surprise me if he tries to go back, and considering his status here is not legal, he doesn't have much of a prosperous future here.
My decision had been made. My in-laws, who have been good friend these last years, have tried to convince me to give him another chance. I have told them, that I have already given him many chances, and I can't do it again.
My brother-in-law bailed him out of jail after a week. But my husband is not allowed to get near me by law.
Now back to my online friend. I contacted him to tell him about the situation with my husband. We spoke over the phone for it was easier for me to describe all the detailsHe was supportive and was trying to do anything in his power to help me, but his financial situation is tight and the distance makes it hard.
I live in Orange County, CA and he lives in the Portland area. That's a difference of 1000 miles!
So, he wanted me to keep him updated with my situation. We talked on the phone and chatted online almost everyday. I wasn't looking for romance, or even to be with anyone else at all. I have always thought, if I ever break up with my husband, its going to take alot for me to trust anyone to let myself fall in love again.
But then my online friend starts to tell me how he's felt for me. He's drawn to me. When he told me for the first time that he wanted to be the one to love me, I was not feeling the same at first. But with more and more affection he showed me, I fell in love with him too. We have seen each others pictures, and although I don't think him the most attractive man I've ever been with, he's got a gorgeous and contagious smile. He's warm, and caring. And he thinks I'm attractive in my pictures too.
He tells me things that make me feel beautiful, and since I've felt his love, I have felt my actual appearance has changed.
So we have been trying to find a way to meet. I got the money together to send him some train tickets and we are meeting January 9th, 2010. He'll finally get to meet me.
The only thing I wish for this man, is that he has someone to care for him in his hardest moments, and that he will not die a lonely man. His heart is that which is ill. He was born with a heart defect, and was recently diagnosed with heart failure. I only pray that we can be together, for the short time he will live.