Beliefs = Reality

I was thinking about beliefs today and concluded for myself that they are much more than just beliefs.

They are our reality.

A belief is just a thought that we gather evidence upon to support that thought. Once we have enough evidence the belief is then valid, hence true. Once true it becomes real.

So, if the belief is real then it is our reality. It can be a positive reality or a negative reality. 

Took me so long to get the last post up I lost everything. So here I go again. Hopefully it's better than my last post.

I heard a story about a Staff Sergeant who lost both hands in combat. I can't recall his name. When I heard this story I thought it was very interesting. He could have sat back and been angry and devastated over his loss. He would have been justified in that to most people. One day you can tie your shoes, the next your struggling with hooks. One day you can hold and peel an orange, the next you keep spraying juice every where. The simple things got hard.

He didn't let this change his reality or let people pity him. He told himself "I'm just as good as I ever was." He fought to stay in the military and now, oddly enough, teaches hand to hand combat skills.

I have made it no secret here on EP that I wasn't a nice person. I told myself that "I'm not good enough" for so long I believed it. So I tried to prove myself wrong by doing things harder and faster than everyone else. When I failed I just proved to myself that I wasn't good enough. So I would try harder. So went the vicious circle.
I was a mess. When I was in the military I would delight in dishing out punishment. Physical punishment that would make the men mad and scream in pain. I didn't have to put a hand on them as I out ranked them and there was nothing they could do. I could strike fear by a look if I wanted to.

At home I would be mad for days, weeks, months, even years. No reason just mad. I could bring someone down with look or phrase.
My son told me that he and my daughter were afraid of me back then.
My wife said I wasn't the man she thought I was.

Ouch.

That was my reality. My life. Not much of one if you ask me.

Then one day when my marriage was literally falling apart, through my own doing, I had a thought. Posted elsewhere here on EP if you want the full story.

This thought changed my reality. Things got better.

Whenever that thought of "I'm not good enough" came into my head I stopped it. I replaced it with "all I can do is all I can do." Any negative thought that came up I would stop it cold and change it. It's not easy, trust me. It does get easier though.

I went through lots of mental exercises changing thought processes. Today I have one. "I'm positive." That is a hard saying to have. Yesterday was not a good day. I had to keep telling myself "Stay positive" through clenched teeth. Before the end of the day I felt better and was kinda positive.

It was one of those days where I was not in control of the outcome, but the result had a direct affect on me. I did all I could and it was out of my hands. I knew the outcome was not going to be good. It wasn't. Yet, today I have those bad results and I'm going to make some lemonade. It honestly doesn't bother me.

A few years ago, I would be mad for months over this single little episode that I didn't have control over.
So in affect the world was against me back then and I was mad about it. My reality based upon my own beliefs.

Today, I'm making my own little world a utopia that is full of possibilities. Negative is not allowed. You want to belong you have to change your reality.

Take Sean Stevenson for example. This guy can sneeze and shatter his rib cage. He can put on his shirt wrong and break every bone in his arm. At 18 he stopped counting how many bones he had broken. It was over 200. He is wheel chair bound and three feet tall.

Midway through his high school career his reality was that he was undesirable and rejected by many. His reality was that he going to be alone for the rest of his life.

He changed his reality. Today he has a thriving psychology practice. Multiple PHD's, worked at the White House, has people flying in from around the world to meet him, he's written books, met with powerful people, and been interviewed on TV.
He works out daily in his home gym doing sets of sit-ups and pull-ups until he reaches 200 of each. Does this sound like a person who accepted a reality of undesirable and rejection? 

I think he shut down that voice that said "accept you can't do anything 'normal'."

We can take things people hand us that support that little negative voice one of three ways.
We can take it negatively, neutrally, or positively.

A negative would be "Your short and ugly" and we go about our day reinforcing that we are.

or

A neutral way would be "Sorry you think that." and we just go about our day telling ourself "No I'm not."

or

A positive way would be to put on a genuine smile and say "I sure am." in an upbeat positive tone. It's virtually impossible to attack a person when they agree. It's also impossible to have a negative encounter when someone agrees because you can't argue.

Your thoughts that you have about yourself turn into beliefs that are reinforced by outside stimulus. Once you believe something about yourself it defines the world as you see it. Therefore it is your reality.

You make your reality whatever you want it to be. I want a positive world, so I create a positive reality for myself. No negative allowed in my world.
Yes, sure negative things happen in THE world, just not in my own little section of it. I am aware of the negative things and am up to date on all current events. I just choose to do what I can to prevent those from affecting my daily life the best I can so I am prepared for those that I can not control. Lessen the impact on my life so to speak.

We all want a better life, better home, better car, more friends, more money, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a wife, a husband, kids, better job, etc.
All of that is possible.

I am gong to be changing careers here in the near future. I have already noticed that I have gone as far as I can in my current career. I can't go any higher, nor with the current laws will I make any more. I will actually make less. I also want more time at home. So I have started making plans to change. I know I can do better. No mistaking in my mind that I can do more, learn more, become better as a human being.
Sure it's scary as once slip and it can cost me dearly.
My reality is no longer in this career. It's at home with my family on a daily basis and working at a job that furthers my dream job.

I'll be making more and will be coming ever closer to being in the position I want to be in. While all the time coming closer to whom I want to be.

Your reality can be changed. Are you willing to change it?



**None of this is something anyone can do over night. You must actively watch everything you do. Catch yourself when you notice yourself going negative.**
Knighted Knighted
36-40, M
1 Response Aug 3, 2010

I liked your post. I held myself back from the career and life I wanted based on wrong beliefs and assumptions about myself, only to see much less qualified people sail past me because they chose to just go for it. I too am making the appropriate changes so that I can take my life back into track, making my own reality, knowing myself much, much better now. Good luck to you.