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Birthday Shopping

This past weekend was my birthday, so I decided to treat myself to a quart of Ben and Jerry's.  Off I went off to BJ's, the warehouse store, to get myself this treat.  Thinking I'd only be buying one item, I opted against a shopping cart, a decision I would later regret.  Ten minutes later, I stuggled to carry the four or five oddly shaped items I picked up during my trek to get the ice cream.  Since BJ's doesn't bag your groceries, you are left to use empty cardboard cases or your shopping cart.  Since the latter didn't exist, I figured I would just walk down an aisle and snag the first empty box I came across.  Unfortunately, the first one I saw was an empty case of Trojan condoms.  That, in itself, wouldn't have been all that bad, but the box was bright yellow with big bold letters on the front. 

Always in the mood to watch the reactions of the others around me, I quickly filled the box with my items and headed to the checkout line.  I proudly carried my box of Trojans and watched as the clerk's eyes moved from the "Trojan condoms" lettering to my face then back to the box, never saying a word but giggling quietly.  I proudly announced that it was my birthday and smiled broadly, as I placed my items on the conveyor belt.  The clerk never said a word.


Epilogue:  It's only been a few days, but I still have the box.  When my godson turns five next year, I'm gong to wrap his present in that box. 

AaaaaaRGH AaaaaaRGH 36-40, M 17 Responses Aug 3, 2010

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I guess I'm just used to those that push me into oncoming traffic.

I don't know what you're talking about, but I meant a free ride ON the conveyor belt not WITH it ::averting eyes:: I've tried to sit in the baby seat in the shopping cart, but the whole thing keeps toppling over.

At this point, I would have settled on a freebie from the conveyor belt.

Hmmm...I'm not sure. I'll have google it...it's just a phrase I often say...or at least think about when I stop to watch/interact with the world around me.

That would be a great name for an album - "Welcome to the Asylum" or is there one already?

Purple, welcome to the asylum. It's the so called "normal" ones ya gotta be leery of.

I have done or said things before that I know will freak people out a little bit just to see their reaction. Usually if I am around someone who is so boring and normal I just have to say something strange to jazz things up a little bit. I suppose that is why some people call me "crazy" or weird.

LMAO!!! GREAT! I love it! :-P

What will the note on the birthday card say?<br />
I'm thinking " Be glad one of them broke XX years ago..."

That is Hillaroius, Happy birthday! YOu MUST have some one hiding with a video tape when he opens his gift, YOU MUST.. post it on here! to quote Ellen.. "It really is remarkable how much time we spend thinking about what other people are thinking of us"

The least she could have done is given me a freebie. Um...a free quart of Ben & Jerry's, that is.

i love it .. hahahahahaha you are hilarious arrrrrrrgh! Can't believe the store clerk just didn't bust out laughin :) hahaahaha

That was a great story. Not being from your area I imagine the store is local or regional. Kind of like publix is regional to the south east. So, I noticed you went to a BJ warehouse and got a case of trojans. Just an observation that added to the humor.

I prefer the Indy 500, actually the Grand Prix, but after the above <br />
the human race doesn't seem that bad either ! <br />
Hilarious!.....

Some may prefer the Indy 500. Others the Tour de France. <br />
To me, the most interesting race is the human race.

LMAO......I love to observe human behavior and all of it's oddities.

As soon as I got in my truck, after leaving BJ's, I called my dad and told him about it. Seems he had me on speakerphone and my mom was the one laughing the hardest.