ChangeThroughout my life I have always experienced so many highs and lows. Today is Friday the 13th and for me I view it as a lucky day. I am not a superstitious person but I believe in the power of our thoughts to manifest in our lives in a way that can change our outcomes. I face challenges today as I do any other day but I like to consider today a day of heightened awareness on where my life is. That's what superstition does. Life exists and we become aware of what part of our life is existing, because the superstition brings awareness to that area(good or bad).
I noticed a while ago that my life exists in quarters. A deeply spiritual lady pointed that out to me when I was a teenager, but I was so caught up in being a teen, I didn't really care. As an adult I see it. For some reason July to October is usually my winter. Everything changes, drastically. There are always signs, perhaps spiritual, perhaps my own heightened awareness.
First, I loose money, sometimes I get it back, sometimes I don't. This year I did. It's always something waaaayy beyond my control. Like a random deposit in the ATM that didn't show, or something like that. This year I got through it and the consequences were not as harsh as they normally are.
Second, people from my past start showing up in my life again. I think that maybe it's unresolved and perhaps my changes warrant a new resolution. So far three people who have had a significant impact in my life have showed up. One person I was not understanding of I had to be more understanding of. One person who I let run me over, I had to stand up to. One person who tried I let have to much say my life, just the change of being centered and focused was enough to resolve the hold that person had.
The third that usually follows is GREAT change. Up until last year it was a huge force that would put me in these changes. It was probably opportunity that I didn't acknowledge that became negative because I was too afraid to face it in the positive. Last year I forced myself into a huge change and I feel like I changed the course of my life.
I am waiting for the major change, I am searching for it. What is it? I feel like it may have to do with my finances but I am not sure. It may also mean another change in location but I'm also not sure. It may mean my health will change. I have been eating REALLY healthy but I haven't been exercising. I have been searching for better ways to make more money and have seen some progress but not much. I am hoping I will finally get the solution I am looking for to make a little more money. My lease is also up so I am not sure where that puts me either. I won't really know until Oct. And that's for both my finances and location.
I look at change as reflective. I really try to see the pleasure in it. It's opportunity for something more. I have so many goals. I used to think to achieve my goals, life had to go in a straight line in order for success to come. I now see that is so wrong. In order for success to come we must run a long a path that isn't so straight. Change is inevitable. If you approach change than change will positive, if you deny it than it will be negative. There are things like death,illness, and disability, that take are a lot harder to see the positivity in change. When relationships change, they were already over, life just put the icing on.
Which brings to my son. He is one of my greatest teachers. I am so grateful. He is only 3 but helps me in every way you can imagine. My entire being has changed because of him. I feel like the last change as a parent is boundaries. Boundaries of appropriate behavior, both mine and his. I watched a really cheesy scary movie and there was a line where the guy said his family only paid attention to him when he was bad which was fine when he was young but when he became an adult it changed everything. I have become so brave in who I am to create a world for my son that is good. I am so committed to having a healthy family even if it's just him and I. I will make the changes, and I have pushed since I found out I was pregnant. I am constantly searching for dysfunction behavior to resolve so that my son has a chance to be the very best he can be.
As I was writing my praises he began to act out. I see it as another opportunity for change.This time I did what only I could do and that was stay in control of myself.
AnonymousDiva 26-30, F 0 Aug 13, 2010