I Am Fascinated By Human Behavior
At my age, I am invited to many weddings of family members even though they all know I will ask numerous questions about the relationship.
Before I start my long list of questions, I try to observe the couple together and listen to them when they talk to others about the pending marriage.
I keep a secret tally of the marriages I predict will fail..
It has amazed me that when I see real problems and try and counsel my relative about my concerns and what research has determined, I just get excuses.
I am not one to point a finger of blame when the marriage fails and say I told you so. Because I ignored these facts also and felt the pain when things did not work out.
I don't know if it is lust or fantasy that cause humans to ignore the facts when it comes to relationships.
So here are the facts.
Years of research by psychologist and sociologist have shown that most long-term marriages have some very common factors. Lack of any two or more of these factors indicates there is high probability the marriage will not last. (Long term –is defined as a marriage of more than 20 years)
1. Both parties married at age 25 or older.
2. Religious compatible (example: Jews + Hindu just do not work)
3. Common goals (someone likes a simple life, not chasing material wealth or career and someone that is very goal minded for gaining as much material wealth as possible, together they do not make a lasting marriage. Another example, a conflict over having children).
4. Social economical compatible (poor + rich only works in the movies)
5. Both parities are financial responsible (debt is the number one cause of divorce)
6. There is Open Communications in the relationship (agree that it is ok not to agree, tell each other your most hidden secrets, keeping the secrets from everyone, no name calling, and etc)
7. Both parties are very much alike (opposite may attract, but they do not make for a lasting marriage)
8. Both parties are Sexual compatible (variety in sexual act is good, but a partner that finds some acts repulsive, does not make a lasting marriage).
9. Both individuals are not egoist. (A egoist believes that everyone would be happy by making them happy, and if they are not happy their actions will cause other people to be miserable)
10. Neither party to the marriage has a history of abusing drugs/alcohol/credit.
11. Both individuals do not have a mental illness, drug problem, drinking problem, shopping problem, or gambling problem.
Before I start my long list of questions, I try to observe the couple together and listen to them when they talk to others about the pending marriage.
I keep a secret tally of the marriages I predict will fail..
It has amazed me that when I see real problems and try and counsel my relative about my concerns and what research has determined, I just get excuses.
I am not one to point a finger of blame when the marriage fails and say I told you so. Because I ignored these facts also and felt the pain when things did not work out.
I don't know if it is lust or fantasy that cause humans to ignore the facts when it comes to relationships.
So here are the facts.
Years of research by psychologist and sociologist have shown that most long-term marriages have some very common factors. Lack of any two or more of these factors indicates there is high probability the marriage will not last. (Long term –is defined as a marriage of more than 20 years)
1. Both parties married at age 25 or older.
2. Religious compatible (example: Jews + Hindu just do not work)
3. Common goals (someone likes a simple life, not chasing material wealth or career and someone that is very goal minded for gaining as much material wealth as possible, together they do not make a lasting marriage. Another example, a conflict over having children).
4. Social economical compatible (poor + rich only works in the movies)
5. Both parities are financial responsible (debt is the number one cause of divorce)
6. There is Open Communications in the relationship (agree that it is ok not to agree, tell each other your most hidden secrets, keeping the secrets from everyone, no name calling, and etc)
7. Both parties are very much alike (opposite may attract, but they do not make for a lasting marriage)
8. Both parties are Sexual compatible (variety in sexual act is good, but a partner that finds some acts repulsive, does not make a lasting marriage).
9. Both individuals are not egoist. (A egoist believes that everyone would be happy by making them happy, and if they are not happy their actions will cause other people to be miserable)
10. Neither party to the marriage has a history of abusing drugs/alcohol/credit.
11. Both individuals do not have a mental illness, drug problem, drinking problem, shopping problem, or gambling problem.
By:
Jones47
Age:
61-65
,
Male
5
responses
