Abuse

Let me start off by saying that I was abused at a young age. It is weird how emotional abuse in your home graduates to more advanced degrees of abuse as you get older. One thing that has been consistent in all of my occurrences is that every time you report it, it is more likely than not that people don't believe you. I have been very fortunate to get lots of help over the years to deal with the issues that come along with abuse but there are still a lot of things that affect me. One thing that I find extraordinary is people's denial. I have a sixth sense now for abusive people and for people who are ill intended but when I try to point it out, people are blown away at my accusations. Abuse continues because we are so ignorant to it. We pacify it in our communities by blaming anything but the abuser. It's so much easier to believe that someone is not a bad person because of the inconvenience that would cause us. If a public figure is abusive or sexually inappropriate, we dismiss it because of the other things they have "contributed" to society. People blow off what Clinton did because it was only oral sex. Marilyn Monroe was an icon in her day even though she was clearly a mistress. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a total misogynist but who cares because he is entertaining. Mel Gibson is a bigot and Bush Jr. slept with prostitute and got her pregnant but that's okay because they are Christian and we should forgive them. Let us not forget what forgiveness is really about and let us remember when it's time to hold people accountable. I am so tired of the norm being that men can belittle women in the public eye with their actions and be celebrated but those who are truly loyal and live healthy lives are rarely talked about. I am really tired of sex offenders getting minimal sentences in California when really they should be sent to an island to live with each other. But the thing that I am most tired of is the millions of people who turn there head away at the cry of help and turn their head back, to be entertained by the aftermath.
AnonymousDiva AnonymousDiva
26-30, F
4 Responses Jul 28, 2010

Thank you for writing this. I know it was written years ago, and I hope that the things you were going through (and are probably continuing to go through) are getting easier for you.

Just for the record, I am a huge denier of my own emotional 'stuff' - as I think many people are. It is extremely brave for anyone to acknowledge & admit to having been abused. And yes, it is absolutely tragic that when someone works up the courage to tell... they are often, in a sense, re-abused by the whole world when they are met with resistance and denial by people they have told.

Please be aware that you ARE courageous, you are stronger than the people whom you have reached out TO. It's not your fault that THEY aren't emotionally strong enough to acknowledge your pain, your courage and to support you.

abuse has been around since people became people...those who ignore or deny it do not have the intelligence, awareness, or stomach to face it full on...i am happy that there are those who can and do...and for those who have been abused, carry on, do not let them win in their victimization of you...perhaps rating where you are right now from 1-10 as to where you are with regard to your feelings of 'being a victim' and thinking about who you are as a survivor from 1-10 is a good start..move and grow towards being a low-end number in the victim and a high -end number of SURVIVOR would be useful...no matter what your number in either direction, you are a survivor and you can do great things ...you are who you are despite, and to a great degree, because of your victimization -- i trust you will do well with progress and reach for greatness and a full life

I agree. For years I thought that woman were as equal as they thought themselves to be but then I had a baby. I was quickly put in my place. I honestly think my relationships don't work out because I don't see how I am supposed to be less than my partner. I have to set aside my needs and wants because I have a vagina. I don't get it. And whether I refuse to accept the role of voluntary superwoman, it doesn't matter because I am not given a chose. Kinda like communism.

You have every right to say all that and every right be sick of all that.<br />
For all the distance we have come, it is still far more a man's world than most are willing to concede, and women are still disadvantaged as silently and stealthily as a fish through water. <br />
It's the way men are conditioned AND the way women are conditioned; and it's an iceberg - only a small percent of the malice and damage is visible or publicised.<br />
I'm not saying men are free from abuse and challenges and hardships - and there are men out there who are part of the progess and healing. But there are so many privileges that still come automatically and invisibly with being a male - the preference in job interviews, the significant chance of higher pay (not expected to level out until 2025), the protection of the 'boys' in male dominated police forces, law courts, universities and the upper echelons of almost all work places; the nepostism and the ease with which a woman can be put in her place in the media (also male dominated) if she has been part of an indiscretion.