Let's Swap Genders!

 

What would it be like, if we could swap genders?

Women would spend their time fixing car fenders.

The men could be experts on using our blenders,

if they cannot use them, they’d be great pretenders.

They’d stay in the kitchen and never come out,

find out what slavery’s really about.

The time of the month, twelve times a year,

push in that tampon, there’s nothing to fear.

Writhing in pain and shedding a tear,

if you need help, I’m not coming near.

Your period pain is really a curse,

are you feeling miserable? It’ll get worse.

 

Put on these high heels, for a night out,

the blisters they give you, are making you shout.

Oops, you fell over, oh sorry, it’s funny!

You’re hopping along, now you look like a bunny.

You don’t want to touch me, since we went to bed.

You think that you’re still a man, in your head,

now you feel horrified touching my parts.

Can you smell the sheets? They’re full of my farts!

 

Oh bend over baby, I’ll go from behind,

you can swallow my *****, if you feel inclined.

Where has your clitoris gone, is it there?

I couldn’t find it, gave up in despair.

I know you’re still horny, but I do not care,

get used to it honey, life isn’t fair.

When I’m finished early, I cannot rewind it,

after a while, you won’t even mind it.

 

Being a man is no fun either,

I cannot work a machine or a lever.

Women ignore me, my charms never work,

I’ve no-one to talk to, it drives me berserk.

The men I am here with, are stupid and boring,

their dull conversation has me snoring.

When I tried shaving, I cut all my face,

all day long I felt like a disgrace.

I think I’ll give up, and start growing a beard,

the rest of me seems to be hairy and weird.

 

I’m having a really uncomfortable day,

when I sit down, my balls get in the way.

It’s weird how it dangles, I’m not used to that.

I think I prefer having my ***** cat.

I went for a pee and it went over me,

I kept forgetting to hold it you see.

I shared a urinal with two other guys,

you should have seen their face of surprise.

I heard them snigger as they walked away,

next time a cubicle might save the day.

 

How does it work, when I sit down to poo?

I never thought about this part of you.

It’s swinging and touching the side of the bowl,

this is so awkward, I won’t tell a soul.

Okay, I am ready to switch back our genders,

it’s no longer fun being each others’ lenders.

I think I appreciate being myself,

playing this game is no good for my health.

Oh no, I’m the only one wanting to switch,

please give me back, you crafty ole *****!

 

emmasharn emmasharn
31-35, F
4 Responses May 16, 2009

Hilarious! :D

Hi Emmasharm<br />
That's good poetry!<br />
:)

Loved this!! Thanks for sharing!

Really enjoyed this poem. It tells it all and in really good taste.