I Hate Myself...

I really do hate myself. I am very fat, always have been. I have secluded myself from other people my entire life because I knew I wasn't good enough to be with other people. I have very low self esteem and the people I am around make it even worse. Even my closest friends say things about my weight. My family is overweight too, so they don't mention my weight, but they do mention my personality. They say that it's not my looks that keep the men away, it's my personality, and that really hurts. I mean, most often, pretty people are dumb, and not so pretty people are very intelligent. So it's a toss up, but you are bound to have either good looks or a good head on your shoulders, but I, unfortuneately, have neither. I am too obnoxious and I say the wrong things at the wrong times, and no one wants to be around me. The one friend I have left, I can't even keep. Maybe it's time to start buying some cats...
fs9834 fs9834
18-21, F
14 Responses Jul 25, 2010

Have you tried any diet plan or anything in that sort? And try to do some research about certain foods that will help boost your metabolism and get a workout buddy who will motivate you to keep going and not give up. Find you a support team as well and you should be good. Its much easier said than done but I did it. Im still in the 200s but since I joined this 90 day health challenge I’ve lost 10lbs and 3 pants sizes which I think is good so far, I still got ways to go but it’s a start. I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror because I felt and looked so “fat” and ugly but I soon made it up in my mind that I got to change this and only I could do that. I don’t want to be the model size or nothing I just want to be at a healthy weight and for me that’s about 160. My aunt told me about the challenge she was on that helped her lose a total of 55 lbs and by me seeing the results of the challenge in person I knew that it work so I decided to give it a try. It’s a shake that you take twice a day to replace a meal and its kosher so it hasn’t been tampered with like these other shake and it don’t make you run to the restroom either. It also diabetic friendly and I really enjoy it and the over all program. In order to lose weight you have to really want to and make that be your main focus, its not gonna be easy but you can do whatever you put your mind to. YOU CAN DO IT! If you would like more info about what I did then I will be more than happy to send it to you but in whatever you do I hope it all works out for you Tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful and that you are special and please believe it and believe in yourself. Only you can make that change…..Peace, love and many blessings!

Hi. I'm wondering if the picture in your avatar is you? If so you actually are very pretty. Now granted I can't see your weight from the picture, but I don't think it's as bad as you're making it out to be. I think the real issue here is your poor self esteem. And you have to deal with that before you can even begin to think about issues like weight or saying the right thing in social situations. I know because I've been there. If at all possible, consider getting some counseling to get to the bottom of the self esteem issues you face. Some communities have free counseling through the health department. You seem like an intelligent young woman, and I am certain that with some guidance in dealing with the emotional issues you face you will come to value yourself as you are, and that is the first step to changing the things you don't like. I know it sounds cliche, but God created you, as you are, and my dear, God does not make mistakes. Just my thoughts.

Darn it! I meant Cheetah

Don't buy cats. Get them from a shelter....Unless its an Oncilla. They look like a little cougar.

Hey as I read your story here I reflect on my life dealing with weight, I recently had a small heart attack, which was very slight due to my making changes in my life style. Key here is choices. I also grew up in a larger family, grandfather passed away of after effects of severe stroke, my father passed away from heart disease and 7 major heart attacks. I wonder if he had a healthy life style how old he would have gotten as even with 7 attacks he lived to be 70! After I got out of the hospital I got into a recovery of heart attack group. First thing in the training was foods, and portion control, second is healthier choices on how we deal with who we are. I try to exercise and walk a bit everyday now! I am betting you are like I was by secluding ourselves we choose to remain in when ever we can? So we get no exercise or fresh air. Somewhere as I would think about dad and grandpa I knew the cards were stacked against me, I started by making better choices on what I ordered to eat trying to walk more places use the stairs when I could even just stand up and stretch as I was watching TV! Here is why when I got hit with the heart attack it was mild, I had changed the course of my own river!!! It is your choice ultimately, we can support you in your decisions whether good or bad but when it comes down to it is all you, your choices. If you look around there are probably groups that do not cost if that is a problem at the hospital or even at the Y, but they are there and you have the power to change who you are. I read your smart intelligent and no matter your self image you’re a beautiful wonderful person learn to work with yourself and become a new you! Yes it is hard and it takes some time but you are young and it will be just a small part of the rest of your life with a new you.

Thank you Flower! <br />
And Publius, Lol. Govorite li Engleski? I Odakle Ste? I can understand most of what you are saying, but I don't speak that much, I'm still learning what you would call Serbo-Croatian.

Enjoy and be happy with who you are - a beautiful, smart woman. Hang around people that encourage and celebrate who you are and want to become, whatever that may be. Don't get down in the dumps about what you perceive to be true. Stay positive and be with positive friends and enjoy the person you are. Life is too short.. Join some activities, events etc. of things you like or pick a hobby and meet people through that. Stay positive.

Hahaha! Hvala, jesi li jugosloven?

Thanks, Krylancelo

Thank you, Yasmin.

i love fat girls and you are so sexy

I say go to Mauretania or Eygpt.If the woman is not over-weighted there,they think she's not pretty ! :D It's ironic how u feel it's a problem when in other countries they force feed the girl to gain weight!<br />
Beauty is a relative thing!if this is ur photo,I think u r so pretty!I do encourage u to loose weight just for better health!u r young,ur body will respond to exercise.U can do whatever u want!

Thank you!!! It's good to know that there are good people like you out there!!!

Young lady, you have got to stop. Everything you spoke of are based on decisions made by YOU. You can change your behaviour and make different decisions. It is within your power. If you want to be a better person, then be a better person. If you want to be a smaller person, then be a smaller person. Dedication, drive and committment are necessary. <br />
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Love yourself if you want others to love you.