The first time I remember feeling conscious of being fat was when I was 6 years old. My cousin who came over to visit kept calling me fat. I had never really noticed that I was a fat kid. I think since then I was conscious of it. At home my grandparents (who I stayed with permanently) weren't over-feeding me. We only had sweets once in a while. In retrospect now i think I might not have been as fat as I thought I was growing up. When I look at pictures of myself from back then I realise that I hadn't even begun to be fat. Fat is me now. No matter how much weight I lose I am a fat girl inside. I will always be obsessed with the idea of being fat and always needing to lose weight.