I Can't See Myself Ever Being Not Fat

The first time I remember feeling conscious of being fat was when I was 6 years old. My cousin who came over to visit kept calling me fat. I had never really noticed that I was a fat kid. I think since then I was conscious of it. At home my grandparents (who I stayed with permanently) weren't over-feeding me. We only had sweets once in a while. In retrospect now i think I might not have been as fat as I thought I was growing up. When I look at pictures of myself from back then I realise that I hadn't even begun to be fat. Fat is me now. No matter how much weight I lose I am a fat girl inside. I will always be obsessed with the idea of being fat and always needing to lose weight.
myloxyloto myloxyloto
22-25, F
3 Responses Oct 28, 2011

don't think like that you'll start making yourself sick so you can purge to lose weight, be careful i'm sure your a very sweet girl

It's not clear from your story whether you are actually overweight or if you just have a perception that you are, or a fear that you might become so. My eldest daughter is 17 and is obsessed by the idea that she is fat, even though she is well within the normal weight range for her age and height, and in fact closer to the bottom of that range than the top.<br />
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I think this is a problem that women face far more than men, in that many of the so called female role models are supermodels, actresses, pop stars and the like who are unnaturaly thin, creating the impression that that's what women should aspire to look like. The reality is that most men would prefer a woman with a more curvaceous figure and nice personality rather than a stick thin boring bimbo. (Well I do anyway!)

There is no such thing as being fat inside. what weight and height are you?<br />
Your attitude to your current weight and body tends to show that you do not respect yourself and know that you are not eating things that are good for you. Respect your body and feed it the right things and your body will show its respect for your efforts. Take an interest in food, don't just shovel it in your mouth; savour it and eat it slowly. No fat people came out of prisoner of war camps, so you have no acceptable excuses for your own mistreatment of yourself.