My Lot In Life.

I have never written on here but I read stories all the time.  I often hear the same voice I have in my head poured into the experiences of others.  I have always been heavy too.  A lifetime of pain inflicted on myself over something which was completely under my control.  A lifetime of self hate and worthlessness.  In the end it seems like such a waste.  Will I wake up when I am 80 and wonder why I couldn't have been more?  Why I couldn't have silenced the voice in my head that told me that I wasn't good enough because of my weight and have done more things?  I look in the mirrror and feel like a second class person who is totally undeserving of respect.  I have let men and friends use me.  I have never been the woman I wanted to be.   All of my achievements tarnished with the stain of my own contempt.  

WomanInBlack WomanInBlack
26-30, F
Feb 11, 2009