Model Vs Fat

When I was younger I was a tall thin stick...as are my siblings...but one year I went to Italy and came back with a huuuugeeee chest. I was still rail thin but my chest was enormous and people defidently noticed...even girls stared. Then I went to college I started gaining weight in my stomach...but the reallly big problem was my chest kept growing!!! Then I got this bf who was convinced I had an eating disorder so he made me eat allll of the time and wed constantly eat out and then sit around and do nothing...then one day he woke up and said " you know you got fat ". And I looked at him and realized he had abs when we started going out and he was santa claus now! So we commited to a diet...but after a day he was taking me out to eat again and Id get a salad and hed tell me that wasnt enough and make me eat...then hed yell at me for quitting the diet...so i stuck to it and eventually he had us both start taking diet pills. Let me tell you I worked out every day and tried my best and it was showing...and hed yell at me if I quit a dvd early because I was exhausted. But he tried one with me and he complained 5 mins in. After we broke up I lost some of the weight and I looked pretty good so he decided to pull me on a string for awhile and after all was said and done left me for someone waaay heavier than me though one of the reasons he left me was because i was heavier than when we started going out...I've tried exercising...but results are slow...and its hard when your chest is so big because you have back problems. It gets harder when your motivated one day and the next you want to sleep...and you used to model and your own mother wont let you forget it and monitors everything you put in your mouth saying "you used to be soooo pretty we need to get you there again." Yet it doesnt matter how much you monitor if all she buys is junk food and you cant afford your own food. What do you do???What are you supposed to do? Your not comfortable with yourself...but your friends like your chest and yell at you when you try to loose weight...I feel like im not even a person anymore...im just boobs to everyone...

ladyhex3 ladyhex3
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 20, 2009

That's basically what happened to me...life sucks in that way.