Why Am I Here????
Posted October 28th, 2009 at 3:35AM
ALL MY 32 YEARS OF MY LIFE HAVE BEEN HARD!!!!! I GOT PUTT OUT @ THE AGE OF 15 TEEN !!!! HAD MY FIRST CHILD @ THE AGE OF 16TEEN I RAISED HER ALL ALONE BY MYSELF!!!! I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL N THE 8TH GRADE!!!! AS I GREW UP I LEARNED BETTER WENT BACC TO SCHOOL GOT MY DIPLOMA TOOK UP COMPUTER CLASSES ETC. BUT NOW SINCE I HAVE GOTTEN CLOSER TO GOD I AM HAVING THE WORST TIME OF MY LIFE!!!!!! I NOT SAYING IM ALL SAVED AND ALL BECAUSE IM HUMAN I DO SIN AND I STILL DO THINGS THAT I NO IZ WRONG!!!!!I MEAN ALL BAD THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IM BOUT TO BE A GRANDAMA, I ONLY HAVE THAT 1 CHILD, I HAVE TO RAISE HER CAUSE HER MOM CNT. I MEAN THATS LIFE SHIIT HAPPENS. ON TOPP OF DAT IM STRUCK N A CITY N ARKANSAS NO JOBS BUT ALOT OF CRIME RATE!!!!! I SOMETIMES THINK DO I HAVE A PURPOSE HERE N IS THAT PURPOSE IS FOR ME TOO SUFFER ALL MI LIFE???RITE NOW IM NO WRKIN I HAVE NO INCOME COMING N. I STOPPED SMOKING WEED FOR A MTH DEN I STARTED DAT BACC!!!!IM NOT A BADD PERSON, I MAY SMOKE WEED BUT I STILL DO ALOT OF POSTITVE THINGS IN MY LIFE!!!!I HAVE NO FRIENDS NO ONE TO HELP ME THROW BUT GOD!!!!I KNOW I AM CAPABLE OF DOING GUD BUT I DNT CEE HOW WHY!!!!!IM SO DEPRESSED PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE YOU GUD R BAD I NEED ALL!!!! THX YOU
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That was a deep, deep post! I am so sorry things feel so bad for you... It's hard to offer advice to someone I don't know, especially particulars. My thing would be to get some help and take advantage of any social service programs available in your area... I was also a young single mom and I used the system to help me get my education so I wouldn't have to rely on the system forever. I would also consider advising you to move but that is usually easier said than done, I know... but many times a change in scenery and around new people and places with more to offer will be tough in the beginning but just may be the change you need in your life. Keep praying and find a church home and someone to talk to. I wish you so much luck and sending you love!
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I am sorry you are having such a hard time.I was also a young mother who had to drop out of school to raise my son. I am also a christian..and still go through hard times..but I keep getting stonger and smarter...smking pot doesnt make you a bad person..sometimes it can help you to stay calm and relax....I also do that...not many people know this about me...it is whole lot better than ciggarets...atleast the smell goes away.I dont have much advice for you but I want you to know you arnt alone and that there is power in prayer..and I will be praying for you!
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