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His Secret Life....

Well, with the ups and downs of grieving a broken relationship, I find myself feeling yet again a broken person. Trying to find reason to it all and questioning life and all within it.

My ex husband had an affair. That is horrible in itself, but the number of affairs and the sick and twisted encounters he had with these women and dogs, was all the while hidden from me and his two children. We were his front, the normal family. What a joke I am!

The thing is, while I have been absolutely hurt and disgusted with what has happened I think I've been in denial. For so long I have found it hard to link my ex-husband with what he has done. Sticking up for him and befriending him when he needed someone. What I see now is a monster. A sick individual who used us as his guise to pretend to be normal.

That leaves me here, broken, hurt, betrayed, worthless, stupid and alone. I'm a shell of a person now, and life does not seem real any more. What I wouldn't give to be over this hurt and pain and just be normal.
deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 31, 2013

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