My Love Story

This is my first story, please be kind.

My name is Ashlee and until 2 months ago I was in a relationship with a guy named Kris. We were together for five years. I thought we would be together forever, he was the one, my best friend, my everything and now hes gone. Let me start from the beginning. Kris and I started dating November 13th 2007. He was romantic, sweet, hilarious, smart, everything I was looking for. I had never had someone treat me so well. I am not close with my family so I had become a part of his, I loved everyone in his family like they were my own and they loved me back. We had our ups and downs like most relationships do but no matter what happened we knew we loved each other so we made it work.Three years in we were still together and in love but it was different. We kind of felt like a married couple, getting a little bored. So as we were trying to get the spark back everything went downhill when his grandpa died. Kris is very close with his grandparents and took it very hard. He started to do drugs, drink heavily, pop pills, whatever it took to numb the pain, except talk to me. I was always by his side, even if he didnt want me I was there. Things got even worse when he got put on probation for being busted with pot in his car, still I supported him, leant him money and stuck by him. The probation hit him hard, it changed him. My once easy going boyfriend turned into an angry, destructive person. As the weeks went by he slowly began to distance himself from me in every way possible. I could tell what was happening but didnt really want to admit it. We would go a week without seeing each other and it was killing me. When we did see each other it was like he wasnt even here, he was an empty shell of himself. He told me he still loved me and wanted to be with me but his actions said otherwise, the sex stopped, the romance stopped, everything was gone. We started fighting more and more. I would practially beg him to just love me and he would get annoyed because all I did was nag him. He started blowing me off and hanging out with different people. I had had enough one week when we made plans 3 times and he blew me off to do other things every single time. I still loved him but the in love part wasnt there anymore. After all this time together I knew we needed to talk about things but since I never really saw him, I ended up writing him a 4 page letter telling him every feeling I had about him, about us and our future. I told him that we arent the same people and that I loved him but didnt know what else I could do to make us work if he didnt want to try. I waited and waited for a response, anything to let me know if it was the right decision, if it was wrong and he wanted to work it out but I got nothing. I now know he was kind of talking to someone else towards the end and a week after we broke up he started dating her. How did I find out? His mom, he didnt even have the guts to tell me. After everything I went through with him, after all the happiness, pain, time, memoires, he just let me go and and found someone else. Now I am alone, I lost him, I lost his family, I am heartbroken. I just laying here trying my hardest just to breathe while at the same time wondering what I did wrong, how am I going to get up and pretend like everything is all right, will I ever stop crying, and what the hell am I going to about this huge whole in my chest. How can I love someone so much when they care so little for me?
Stars889 Stars889
22-25, F
Nov 25, 2012