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Unhappy

There are times, and tiny moments, where I think I'm happy.
Where I have this image, and illution, that I'm able to move on.
But then, I get knocked down again.
Reality kicks in and says 'You're heart is still broken, you need closure to move on'.
And I get back in this cycle of being heartbroken, endlessly.
I cry at night, and feel so alone and it hurts so much..
CactusHugger CactusHugger 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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I can relate very much to the way you feel. Sometimes things just seem like they have lost their glory for me. Everything is about making money, about how useful or convenient we can be to other people and I feel like no one is really out there for me... but just know that you aren't alone... I also feel the way you do, and we can take comfort in the fact that we are in this world we didn't ask to exist in, in the same place, at the same time, feeling the same... and each second the passes we just try to make it the best we can! :)

Thank you for reading my story.
It often just feels like you dont get the time to recover from things these days.
It's about making money to survive, and work hard to earn money.
We dont really get time to feel sad or lonely when we want to.
And people push you, that it's just love and you'll get over it and to not be such a baby.
But I'm glad you can relate to that, not many can.

It was my pleasure reading your story, I am so glad that I am not alone and that we are not alone... People are so distracted in the money game I truly wonder if they have a mind to think or if they just dope themselves up with drugs and alcohol to keep themselves numb. But truly expressing our feelings in writing deems meaningful for me. Thank you for writing and expressing yourself! :)

Indeed.
As if alcohol and drugs solve problems, which they dont. Only give more problems really.
And expressing myself here on this site has been great.
It's a great feeling, knowing that someone reads my story's, a part of my life.
They seek out and try to help me with advice, or give a small gesture to be kind.
It's great to be heard and share your feelings.
And I am so glad you agree with me!
So thank you for reading!

I was the one that did the dumpinb in my relationship but it was for the safety of my kids. unfortunately I am still in love with him. We broke up about 6 weeks ago and he us already dating somebody. That hurt is very sharp and it won't go away for a long time. I am thinking of getting on some meds to help with the depression. I know it won't stop it but maybe it will curb it. I hoe you get the closure you need and remember that it will get better with time.

Thank you for reading my story.
I actually got closure today, I will write about it now in a new story.
I also wish you recover from this, because there is nothing more painful that seeing the one you love with someone else.

What could possibly make you feel this way CactusHugger?

My first love broke up with me, and I am sekeing closure which I'm not getting.
There are so many things going on in my life right now, which all bother me.

You have people to talk to right? Family, friends, therapist etc...

I have family, but it also hurts them to see me in pain, it makes me feel guilty.
My friends aren't really there for me.
I tried looking for a therapist, but they are expensieve..

I just read your previous story 'Desperately Seeking Closure' and I've got to say if he already had a partner 11 days after you broke up he clearly didn't value the relationship as much as you did. You really cared for the guy and he was prepared to dump you and move on just like that!
This tells me two things, either he is used to dating girls & ditching them or he didn't give a **** about you and in both instances that loser is not worth you getting upset about, i'm sure a pretty girl like you could easily get another guy anyway

Hehe, thank you.
It's more confusing because he claims to still have feelings for me.
Then why did he break up with me? It's so strange.
We've had issues, but his behaviour only made things worse.

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