I've been posting about the same topic for a while, and I feel like posting again so I can ventilate as I'm having a terrible morning. Nearly two months ago, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. She says she felt distant. Obviously a communication problem was occurring and I was trying my hardest to fix it. A few days after we split, she was being cold and harsh towards me over the phone as I was still trying to fix what went wrong. I had to ask about this guy she was talking to a few days before we broke up. She told me she liked him and he was coming to stay at hers for the weekend. It was like a cold dagger being stabbed into my heart and back repeatedly. She said it so harsh and so bluntly, I felt she didn't care. Later in the evening, I eventually stood up to one of the main causes which broke us up; someone had made a lie about me that I was unfaithful, and that turned into a game of Chinese whispers between one person. I sent a message to this person, unloading all my hate and anger. I took a screen-shot and sent it to my ex. I turned the tables there. I was being the blunt, cold-hearted one. She was then blurting out she has feelings for me, still wants me in her life, all of that crap etc. After that, it was frequent texting every few days. Just asking how we're doing and stuff, and we even went on Skype one night which was very nice. However, three weeks after we split, she got into a relationship with this guy. That hurt. I couldn't control my anger, so I text her that day, getting it all out of my system once again. She had some accusations on her end too, saying I was only with her to get over my ex (Kind of contradictory right?), however, I was over my ex completely by the time we were together, so she was piling all the crap she could get together to make me look like a bad person. Things calmed down, and some stuff obviously came out once it calmed down. She told me she doesn't know what she's doing, and a second chance might happen in the future. I was left confused, but I remained hopeful that we will get back together one day. My friends have even taken a look at some context of the situation, and believe she will come back, as this new boyfriend is just a rebound. Few weeks on, frequent messaging and a brief phonecall, but then one day I clicked. I just couldn't do it anymore. Talking would get me nowhere, and she was persistent in talking so we can work on a 'friendship'. I ignored her for three days straight, where she would be texting me 'hey' every night. I eventually cracked on the third night. I told her to leave me alone, as her new-boyfriend was accusing me of leaving her anonymous abuse through a social-networking application. I'm remaining civil and content with what I have right now, so I'm not the one to deepen the wound. As that conversation went on, I cracked. I let everything out. I told her I still love her, I still want to work on things, I want this to last a lifetime; all of that heartfelt ****. The only reply that stuck with me after that was "I can't right now. I'm not too sure about the future". I told her "We can either work on things and give it a second chance, or you can say no, and I'll be out of your life forever". She didn't even decide out of those two choices, she just told me she doesn't want to lose me. I was up until 4am talking to her, as she was saying she wasn't good enough for me, she was too ugly and I wouldn't be seen dead with her. I fell for it, and gave her the self-esteem boost her boyfriend is failing to do. The last thing she said was "I'm not worth it" and I had to say she was. She didn't reply after that. From then, we haven't spoken for over two weeks. Every day is getting harder and harder and I just want her back. I know I shouldn't, but it's all I want right now. I've been improving myself during this breakup, but the only thing I need to be truly happy with myself again is her.

Just a side note, I have an application called 'Ask.fm', which is an anonymous social-networking site where you can make accounts to receive anonymous questions from other users. My ex uses this as a gateway to get information out of me. These questions are based around girls I'm talking to, people I've slept with, my opinion on my ex's, would I get back with my ex if I had the chance, do I hate anyone etc. I've been getting them nearly every night for two months; I know these are her and she's even come clean on a few. This makes everything confusing for me. It's not the type of thing I would expect if she has a boyfriend.

Heartbreak ******* sucks.

Sorry about the long post, but I needed to ventilate. I'm feeling better now. Some of this stuff may be confusing and would probably need more context, but this was generally through ventilation.
xSundip xSundip
18-21, M
1 Response Aug 20, 2014

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. I feel like I'm experiencing something similar. But I think we have to try a little harder to take care of our own happiness and not constantly sacrifice ourselves to make them happy. It sounds like a healthy relationship with this girl would be very hard unless she suddenly matures quite a bit. You've made it two weeks, try to make it two more without any real contact with her. I know it seems impossible because I'm in the same spot but try to forget about her and just be happy with yourself. Now I just need to learn to take my own advice. Best of luck friend.