Lost and Confused.

My stress keeps building up on me and it feels like there's no relief, not even a minute of it. My classwork and grades seem to be slipping because I just can't find the reason to try any harder because when I do try I come up short. I had and have goals for when I want things to be done, for programs I want to apply for and it seems like I just can't reach the grades neccesary for me to get there. I keep having to retake classes and it just makes me feel so stupid at times. My entire family life feels like its falling apart at the seams as well. I lived with my mom up until a month ago when we lost our house, and there being 4 kids in the family, I being the oldest was pushed off to live with my grandmother. I just feel like im left out and disconnected. All these things seem so whiney, even to me, but for some reason I just feel so insanely lost. It's like none of my thoughts can connect and nothing I do works. No stress relief methods, nothing. When I talk to my friends the only advice they give me is to seek professional help, but I cant reach out. I get so anxious at the thought of talking to someone I don't know about my personal problems that I can't even bring myself to dial the number. It's like I honestly have not an ounce of control over my life anymore. My anxiety runs it, and my mind is just not what it used to be. I feel so insanely lost.
elemenopp elemenopp
18-21, F
Dec 11, 2012