That moment when your friends are walking together, and you're the one left straggling in the back looking like you don't even belong in the group. You try to edge your way into the huddle, but to no avail.

That moment when your friends are sitting together and talking, constantly ignoring your input and closing you out of the conversation. Sometimes they don't even realize they're doing it. You just sit there and laugh at the jokes you can't hear and try to crane your neck to look at them. Every time you talk, your words float into the air and disappear, unnoticed and forgotten.

That moment when you go to lunch and you can't find a single friend. You sit alone and constantly look around, pretending that you're just waiting for someone, trying to trick anyone who may be watching into thinking that you're not alone...but on the inside you know that nobody is coming.

That all happened in the first three days of high school. I just can't wait until my gym class finds out that I run an 11 minute mile and can't do a push up. Just more people to laugh at me behind closed doors, I guess. Just more people on the list who are thankful that I am not part of their life. Maybe I'll lose the few friends I still have.
SayGeronimo SayGeronimo
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 23, 2014

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I know you're looking for compassion but people pitying you will only make you believe that you can't change things.

When I was in middle school, I was always the fat kid and the outcast. Do you know what I did? I started walking by myself. When my friends and I would walk in the same direction, I would walk ahead of them, on my own, getting home as quickly as I could to get back to the important part of my life. I started reminding myself that I had better things to do than impress the ridiculously judgmental children around me.

When nobody would sit with me at lunch I would make a point of it to actually enjoy my lunch and use my time to work on schoolwork.

These "friends" are doing nothing but making you dislike yourself. The truth is that They don't deserve to have You in their lives. If they don't care enough to show you how much you matter, then they aren't your friends at all.