Depressed 3

I cannot stop crying... I'm in tears all day and all night long. I can't stop the heartache... I love him so much, I could give my life to him, but he doensn't even know me... He belongs to another woman, he is much older than me and I should forget him. Damn.. that's very difficult, I can't stop thinking of him, his beautiful smile, his gorgeous eyes.. everything on him is just perfect. He is an actor, not famous enough, but he is very talented. I saw him up close three times. I talked to him, I expressed my admiration to him, I touched him.. and he was so kind and friendly... I felt so overwhelmed when he looked me in the eyes. I dream about him almost every night. My friends tell me that I am an idiot and I don't really love him.. I just like him because he is an actor... but if I only like him, why am I in such pain??? Why do I cry every single day? I am so jealous of his wife, I know should not be.. but I am. I don't dare to show him that I love him. I will never do. I cannot fall in love with someone else. It's impossible. I actually don't want to love someone else, as I know that no one could like me since I am ugly, so it isn't worth the try. I hate myself, I want to die... What can I do? Help..... :(
JoannaBz JoannaBz
13-15
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

Its maybe called love, hang on i know the feel.. i was once felt deep down on da feel in my life. That girl.... i didnt know why i liked her so much, spenting my day by day stalking her, collecting as much information about her liking her habits and many other. LOVE is mysterious. Why? it always come in so many ways and time even the most odd one. I prefer didnt explain the whole stories in here.. what a long story. In love ive always felt like i am the most luck person yet im feeling like im the most unlucky person, im afraid losing her, im afraid that she didnt like me despite the ugliness or else. but yet i study a lot in Love, im had learnt what is called sympath empathy caring and fondness. before i fall in love i never had a attention about whats goin on on the earth , after felt the love i trying to learn how the boys dress and do and talks so that i can gain her attention. and yes !! after 2 years of pain and joy, i gaining her attention and she merely waiting for me to asking her on date but unfortunately.... sory ithink i didnt want to tell you any further :(. advice for you... Just get on with it, if you feel like even if you tried to gain its attention (according to his relationship status) is nothing you had in outcome, SO BE IT!. if loving him makes you happy, DO IT!. But if it is only bring you sadness, you must move on... By having a distance with him and try not to communicate . It works for me, i barely in sadness on 1 years and gaining my selfss by try not to care about her anymore. it hard but its worked.

I hope my garbages writing of mine will be useful to you all . :)