My boyfriend has been pressuring me to set a date for our wedding. So finally, I did. Within minutes, while talking about wedding ideas, he's barely listening and browsing Facebook. He accidentally comes across his ex wife's Facebook. (They have been divorced for 20 years). He inhales sharply, like he just got startled, and starts looking at her photos. I say "I find this inappropriate..." (After all, we were talking about the wedding.. That he's been pressuring me to solidify). So then he clicks off it, runs to his bed.. And cries... For hours... And begging me to hold him.

What are your thoughts?
DreamChristine DreamChristine
31-35, F
3 Responses Aug 18, 2014

He is still fixated on his ex and is using you as an emotional crutch. You are not as central to his existence as she is. Sometimes, absence of a person leads to their centrality rather than their presence. The fact that he is still in lament mode regarding her is reason enough to think that he is still with her in his head. The fact that he begged you to hold him tells me he would have begged the same of any other woman. This does not seem as case of you're "the one" to him. Rather, it seems you are just another one!

Idk. I don't think just because someone isn't "perfect", that we just trade them in. There is no one else on earth like him, and I love him deeply. I just want to know how you would handle this, if you love someone? Obviously his ex ****** him up. So how do I help??

Talk to him..its that simple. Just listen and be there for him. I would also suggest he talk to a professional.

sounds to me like you need a new boyfriend.

Exactly my thoughts too - or a girlfriend *wink*