My boyfriend of a year and a half has put me second to girls he claims he USED to like. I hate feeling second to someone i put first, always. I never knew how jealous of a person i am until time went on with him. He just recently went to a goodbye dinner for a girl he thinks is cute, and used to like a lot. I told him i didnt feel comfortable with it, and he didnt care about what i though, so i made it into a "its her or me" and he chose to hang up on me and go anyway. I made my self look so desperate and pathetic by calling back about 3 other times and telling him just how serious i was about it, he didnt care, and went. That morning we got in a huge fight, and i felt like his first priority should have been to fix things not say bye to some girl. After he got what he wanted he wanted to fix things with me, i was SO done i changed my status to single and told him we were done. He claims he went to clear his mind and hang out with other people that went with him, but if he wanted to hang out with them he could have gone some place else. I feel like he is lying to me about his intentions that night, and i find myself confused.. This guy is everything to me, but i just dont know what he wants with me. I see my future with him. He has mentioned marriage, but he has also said that he wants to take a break later on and "explore" because i am his first girlfriend, first everything. I just think that if you love someone, you wouldnt want anyone else but her. Of course, youll see other people as attractive, but not want to be with them because after all, you have the one. I found myself thinking that night that i didnt want to give him yet another chance. He has done the same thing a different way with different girls 3 other times. They have all led to us breaking up and him lying, and him choosing them over me. I love him, and i dont want to let go, but after the dinner thing i break down almost everyday, confused, unwanted, and think to myself that i dont know what i want to do. I dont know if i can trust him like i did in the beginning of the relationship. He has dug both of us a deep, deep hole, and i'm the one thats stuck in there. The walls are closing in on me and i dont know what to do.. help me
micheller1995 micheller1995
22-25, F
Aug 17, 2014