Dreams Seem Just Out of Reach...

 I laughed at the logo for this topic - since thats how I feel, only imagine that the teddy was waist deep - and was stretching his arms to try and reach something to pull himself in. 

I feel like my dreams are ahead of me, and no matter how hard I seem to try they are always running away. I aspire to be a writer, but my creativity only comes when there is rain.

Weird I know. And also horrible, since I live in Australia - dryest piece of crap in the world. But the feeling - the sheer rush and power I feel when I am writing; its something that I thoroughly enjoy. But when the rain is gone and only the hard, dry sun fills the day - suddenly writing seems like a chore.  This upsets me greatly. 

I currently live in a shithole rented house, I am only Eighteen, so they had to give me a place that the owner didn't care about...thus its extremely high maintenance and I barely get time to do the housework in between large periods of sleep and lament...haha. 

I recieve a pension due to my Bi-Polar disorder, but it is only just enough to get by - and I loathe my mother and step-dad, therefore I do not ask them for money. And my real dad is struggling, due to having to pay my mother a ridiculous amount of child-support; so asking him for financial help is also out. 

Basically, I want to put away some money each payment so I can save up enough to self-publish my novel. But that will be a very difficult task. And I feel like I may be stuck in this situation - with low income and frequent expenses pinning me down. 

Maul Maul
18-21, M
3 Responses Mar 3, 2009

Here's support from a stranger...I hope you make it one day :)

I think feeling stuck is the best way to put for me anyway...sometimes when we got through a transition period of life...it seems as though all hell breaks loose then things start to calm....<br />
It sounds like you have a game-plan...so start with what it is you want to do....make time for what's important for you...and then everything else will come together. <br />
I am still trying to figure out what's important to me...need a direction in my own life and i can't seem to find it...

someone once said to me 'dont give up 5 minutes before the miricle' you can do it!