Symptoms Of Depression? Unsure About Diagnosis...
I was in a car crash eight months ago. I couldn't walk for four months so thought that, once I got driving and back to normal, the fear and jumpiness would go away. Of course I would be worried for a while, its normal.
The thing is, since I have got back to 'normal' everything has got a lot worse.
I can be fine one second and then jumping around the next. Bracing myself, grabbing onto the seat and calling out in fear when everythings alright.
I don't avoid the car. Well, I can't, but my days are exhausting. I then have very vivid dreams all night and wake up tired.
I went to my GP who refered me to a counselling service. During my first assessment they said a lot of my symptoms are like depression. My apetite has altered, I don't go to the gym as often, my partner feels I am distant from him, I am not nearly as patient with people as I used to be...irritable even.
Personally I think these are not the symptoms of depression, but of a person who needs a good nights sleep and to be able to rest her brain!
I am logical and rational about what happened. I have a wealth of driving experience and know that it was a freak accident caused by someone showing off to his mates and getting it all wrong. But there will always be someone showing off and getting it wrong...herein lies my overwhelming thought...
The guy that hit us knows why. He put himself in an atmosphere/situation that he can easily avoid in future to feel safe again. "I can drive my car at the speed limit, not race my mates, avoid overtaking on blind bends" etc.
I, on the other hand was travelling as a passenger, at the speed limit, not engaging in anything that would be classed as 'Risky', and BANG.
I cannot avoid that situation, or learn anything from it to take into the future to make sure it doesn't happen again.
I have always been positive and learned from negative experiences...when my Mum died... when I got divorced.
I have always been strong. Even on the night of the accident when my bone was poking out of my skin, I kept my cool. Chatting and thanking the Paramedics. Avoiding pain relief as I was happy to have my wits about me. Refusing a strecher and instead opting to hop out of the car.
I haven't actually been given any diagnosis, although PTSD has been suggested. The counselling service gave me exercises to work through to avoid panic attacks when I feel them coming on. But I don't 'feel it coming on'. I just whole heartedly believe, for seconds at a time, that we are going to crash and it is going to be horrible.
I have my first session with a 'High Intensity Therapist' Next week. I just want it dealt with. I can't carry on the way I'm going and expect to be able to handle everything I want to in my life :o(
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