Artist Not a Lawyer

Your story is inspiring.

At 49, my story sounds just like yours, with all the same symptoms, except I wasn't looking for success or anything, just some security. Now I feel trapped by a high wage, excellent benefits and a good pension plan, all at the cost of my mental health.

However, I would still settle for less if I could just figure out what it is I'd be happier doing.

I wish you every success on your new journey. :)

I followed a script I was given by my traditional background and I became a good wife and a good mother (4) all along sacrificing for the sake of the family.Kids grew older and out of the house, dominating husband still treated me like a possession, had cancer and financial trouble. I decided to go ahead and divorce, go for the freedom to be me,no matter what. Life is short. I have no career (you know...I wonder what I did with all the free time I had while raising 4 children...)but I'm an artist and always have been and I'd rather be a starving artist than a zombie wife.It is so hard I don't know if I'll make it, but I' keep going.You only have this one life, live it your way!

Userina, I'm so sorry I hit the unhappy face when I meant the happy face, I will figure out a way to fix this. Again, there should be an undo button! In the meantime, I apologize again and actually reading your profile has been a total inspiration for me.

Userina, I'm so sorry I hit the unhappy face when I meant the happy face, I will figure out a way to fix this. Again, there should be an undo button! In the meantime, I apologize again and actually reading your profile has been a total inspiration for me.

Userina, this is really how I feel about your comment

:-))

Can I tell you a story about AUTHOR Barbara Sher ?

She is a career therapist of sorts.

I read her book and it changed me from an_____ UNHAPPY_____ Social Worker of 26 years to a happy stock investor and work in the wilderness at age 50.

The Social Work was noble and good but it just wasn't my calling or passion.

I Looove bussiness and economics along with the call of nature.

Barbara Sher said this in her book "EVERYONE HAS UNIQUE GIFTS AND TALENTS".

"WHAT YOU LOVE IS WHAT YOUR GIFTED AT".

"TO BE COMPLETELY HAPPY,TO LIVE A COMPLETELY FULLFILLED LIFE".

you have to do.....WHAT YOU LOVE"!!!

"IN THIS COOKIE CUTTER WORLD ALL WE NEED TO DO IS FOLLOW OUR{ HEARTS PASSION}. ONLY THEN, YOUR WINGS WILL APPEAR".I wrote that as part of a 10 year projct called ___THE 10 DIARIES___ Ivan Lee Livingston

You will know him some day in the future

I ran fitness clubs for 14 years, made oodles of $. Only problem was I wasn't doing what fullfilledn me. So.........I left the industry, have gone back to Univerity and am working in a helping area now. The pay is terrible, but the rewards are amazing.

It's strange, at a low point, way back, I bought a series of tapes from I think Barbara Scher, Living the Life you Love. I never listened to them. Perhaps if I had this would have happened ten years earlier. I think I was just to low to think anything could help. Thanks for your comment.

i had the thought today that no matter how hard i try at making something work if it's too high a degree of wrong to begin with it's not going to work out. i think there are diiferent degrees of how right something is and how wrong something is, for myself i mean. for example about work. i meet my financial responsibilities, that's very important. i find out some strengths and skills, some talents maybe. i found out my challenges, my limits, where i need improvement. lots of other things to take into consideration. but if there are different degrees of wrong, even if something is almost right it is to some small degree wrong. i am probably describing "compromise" to some, "settling" to others. for me i know i am not doing the best thing i could do for work, and things willl change in the future. am taking action as i am able to. to go bacl and blame myself for what i couldn't do in the past is only going to hurt me. but i don't have a final vision. i may not be doing the best thing but i am doing the right thing for right now. i am trying bit by bit to improve my situation. it is really hard. i am overcome by frustration sometimes. i am not doing wrong to do what i am doing though, i am trying my best. it's taking a lot of courage actually. i don't give myself enough credit for that.by the same principle though, this idea is acceptable to me in my work life but not in my personal life. in a relationship that is only "almost right" which by my definition means "some degree of wrong," i end up too unhappy to be able to take it for long. i ended my last relationship for that reason. i loved him enough to say "almost right isn't good enough for me and it's not good enough for you either, and i care so much for you i would rather we end it than keep trying to do this thing that is going so wrong." some people call it "giving up." he did. but i see it as the most loving thing i could do. at some point in my worklife i will have to come to that crossroads too, where i have gotten to a point of having some better choices open to me. but in the meantime i have to do the best i can and that has to be enough or i will become so discouraged i can't do anything at all. i do have days where my spirit feels broken. i am having one of those days today. so sometimes i just break down a little, exhausted like i am today. i have to believe i am going in the right direction and take what support and comfort is offered to me and be grateful for it.

Funny how there are such different combinations of financial stabilty and personal satisfaction ... my job is definitely more on the financial stability side of the pendulum. I have tried to limit the negative impact of an ufulfilling job on the rest of my life, my health, and my state of mind. I wish I knew what to do - I have a hard time identifying a specific 'passion'. I wish I could be involved in something transformational, for myself, individuals I come into contact with at work, and society in general. I'll be happy to take suggestions. Congratulations to those who have found their path!