More About The Same

I can trace things all the way back to when I was tiny.  All my parents' male friends, male neighbors, nearly every male who ever came near me wouldn't keep their hands off of me.  Touch, stroke, pat. you get the idea.  By the time I was four and could speak about it, my parents were unsympathetic, telling me to shut up and it was ok.  Then when I was four I was raped by three teenage boys, and was held responsible for the whole thing. Nothing was ever done to them, and it was never spoken of again..  When I look in the mirror, I see a petite woman of normal weight, configuration, put together right and otherwise unremarkable.  This is where the whole thing changes.  My current weight is 188 pounds.  It goes up and down, and has done so all mu remembering liffe.  Not huge ups and downs, but always too much overweight.

I do not like to be touched, and have screamed at people for doing so.  I find 'sexy' to be very, very offensive.  I  want to be appreciated for me, who I am, not whether I should be luring some jerk into bed.  Sex is a choice issue, not a rub-it'in the face, thing.

I have some very hard ideas about things.


That aside, I need to make some serious life changes, and I do not have the slightest idea where or how to begin.


I have always liked myself.  Too many men, right up to now, as well, have failed to keep their hands to themselves.  I need to be free of machete dreams, and find a way to get it all successfully together

nanasixboys nanasixboys
Mar 13, 2010