No More Waiting For Him To Fix His Brokeness
I watched him leave town twice...it hurt me...twice. He has mental health issues...and it turns out that he is a prolific womanizer. His idea of a strong woman is a woman that will take care of him and cater to him. He has me so F****D up...there is NO WAY i will become his doormat!! AND he was still trying to get back with his ex after BEGGING me to have his child. I jst thank God I made my way thru the darkness of loving someone with a mental disease...and still love myself. I ended things with a simple email (He was down south for about 4.5 months by then...i told him i deserved someone that respected me and that his actions of late (only calling to jeer me...constant lies...only emailing to ask for money in exchange for sex...WTF??) i realized that his esteem was far too low to make him compatible. I feel that anyone that has to use a person in order to be with them is suffering from some inner self health issue...i met him thru one of my closest friends (her cousin) and am living with her until my place is ready the end of next month....although he (the ex) is not here, i am surrounded by memories of him (first kiss, firstdance, first hug) and it was really hard at first to be around it all....but todat, 6/25/11 i discovered that my heart had healed far more than i expected it to...i am skimming over details...it was a sweet, sweeping whirlwind of an instant chemistry that i certainly did not expect...but after the lies and two timing, i had had enough....and today i found out he has someone new in his life...and it did not hurt...not a sting...or a sharp intake of breath....nothing. Hallelujah...i am free from that which no longer exists. Thank you God!