I met my boyfriend in Feb of this year. We met online and what really attracted me to him was that he was a single parent like me and seemed to be stable. He talked a good game and I was intrigued we met right away and moved in together. I find out from his sister that he lied about everything he told me. His age was 41 instead of 31, he had 2 sons one was 6 which I knew but the other was 19 and he hid that. He wasn't financially stable plus so much more. I was determined to make it work and try to get to know the real him. 6 months later, I transferred my medicaid and food to PA from NJ and am currently seeking employment and it's going well. He is a Jekyl and Hyde, has a pill problem, is a bad father in my opinion, verbally abuses me and blames me for things that aren't my doing, takes out his bad days on me, is impotent, constantly worried that I will cheat when I start working and has trapped me in the house by making his son my responsibility. The day I met his son he told him that he could call me Mommy I was uncomfortable but let it go bc I thought he knew what was best for his son. He wouldn't allow me to show my son love without giving his son the same exact affection so I decided to be honest and tell him that I'm uncomfortable with the role he's asking me to fill and I'm not ready to be his mom right away and I feel forced and for him to give us time NOTHING CHANGED. He wants me to work but he wants me to take certain hours so I can watch his son, he's worried I'll leave him for someone at work, I can't leave to visit my family bc he wants me to take his son with me, I cant take a cab to go out bc I'm watching his son and he doesn't want him in a cab, most nights I sleep alone bc I can't stand to be around him. I don't want to even attempt to have sex with him bc 92% of the time he can't perform or will blame the problem on me and say I smell or I feel rough on the inside OR he's stressed. I'm stuck, no job, no money, no place to go, no license, I hate that I got myself into this mess but It's my fault for jumping at a man bc I thought he was financially stable, goal oriented and a good father..this single mom's dream. I'm 24 he's 42 and I'm not going to waste my life with this man. I feel like I can't tell anyone. I'm getting a job I have my assistance set up, I'm going to file for child support for my son, hopefully get my license and as soon as that door is opened for me I'm gone!!!
cdanois cdanois
26-30, F
4 Responses Aug 14, 2014

dont wait for the door to open honey you need to be ready to open one of the closed doors ..you need to be brave and your situation is unhealthy for you ...just make baby steps ...work save work save if there's a child involved well find a daycare or school according to the child age .....you are not the only human in this position ....you just need to start firstly by thinking positive ...........a woman is a gift from god ........we need to appreciate ourselves all by ourselves if that's what it takes to survive ....its a cold war out here ...raise your head up

you are young it will be emotionally challenging but please say to yourself ....after all the street you are going through ... you deserve the best and only you can do that for yourself

all you need is to believe in yourself get a job please save some money n move out .........help yourself if you love yourself ... he is very controlling and childish to keep telling you that you'll leave him especially when you are already sacrificing your time ..sweetheart HD doesn't appreciate you its time you start appreciate yourself as a woman .....I live all alone buy what am telling you to do is exactly what I did so even though I have no family or good friends at least am happy finding and creating a better me

THAT ---> "wouldn't allow me to show my son love without giving his son the same exact affection" Isn't that weird!!!??? My estranged was basically KILLING my relationship with my 2 kids b/c her kids weren't seeking that much attention from me, I couldn't hug my kids, I couldn't put them to bed with a song or story b/c I wouldn't do that for her 3 -- BUT THEY DIDN"T WANT ME TO.