Life As A Woman

As a little girl we think of our dreams, we think of being married one day, we play house with our friends, we ride our bikes, we create stories within our heads.  We dream and we fantasize as to what life is going to be.

As a teenager we begin to find who we truly are.  WE question our friendships, we question who we are.  We dive into our interests.  We start to date, we have our first kiss, we begin to notice the changes in our bodies, we get insecure, we cry, we get emotional, Not all of us have our first kiss, but we think about it.  

As a young adult, we are thrown into the world, trying to figure out our first big decision of what we want to do with our lives, we find love, some get married, some get divorced, some gain hearts and some get broken hearts. We continue to dream, we enter the workforce for the very first time.  WE know our bodies, and we learn to enjoy sex.  We are each on a journey, and we are the ones behind the paths we take. 

In our thirties, we are comfortable with who we are.  We don't put up with people's **** nearly as much.  We say what's on our minds, we no longer hold back.  We are confident with our bodies, and we begin to notice the changes in them too.  We put on weight, we have children, we're thrown into motherhood.  For some of us, we never become mothers, for some of us, we lose a parent for the first time or may be even younger.  Some of us find out that we can not conceive children, some of us find out we really don't want children.  Some of us may find that what we wanted out of life was not what we wanted at all, and some of us are brave enough to start over.  Some of us had a dream of being married, and then realized the dream was no longer his, or no longer yours together.  Others hit a patch in their relationship, had some lows.  Some may have been diagnosed with a disease for a very first time, others may have had a loved one grow ill and lose life.  Some of us get that promotion we've been working towards while others of us realize the job we in is not the job for us, yet again. 

In our 40's, we are living life.  For some of us, we have a family, have a career, and have a house that we have finally made a home.  For others, life did not necessarily end up this way.  For some, we find the road we wanted to travel did not work out that way.  For some, we have a little bit more edge to us.  For others, we realize what life is.  Some are luckier than others, some want that family life, or some lucked out with that great relationship.  Some were lucky enough to have friendships that lasted throughout the years.  For others, we are faced with life and the reality of what has become of it.  But it does not stop us.  We continue to keep the fight going.  And we continue to work hard. 

In our 50s we realize we're getting old.  We look at our accomplishments and realize what an amazing woman we've become... We take trips, we explore the world, we enjoy life.  We relax more, we are blessed  For others, we are now the caregivers of our parents, taking care of them, as their health deteriortes before our eyes.  It is hard to see the same person that gave us their everything like this, so wear, and so fragile.  It is sad, it is hard work, but we do it because the love we have is unconditional.  We continue to work hard in our jobs, and a new worry sets in that our job may not be nearly as secure as it once was.  We're getting older, and we realized we can be replaced so easily with someone younger, someone that knows the latest technology where we aren't nearly as steadily learners right now. Some of us have our grandchildren to look at for the very first time, and we start to spoil our grandkids and help our children become parents, or for even some, become the parenting figure because our children weren't quite ready for this new role in their lives.  Some of us find out we have cancer, or our loved one was.   

There is so much we endure in life.  The older we become, the wiser we do become of the life experience we have.  But with every new experience comes tears of happiness or tears of sadness.  Every new experience comes with struggles and successes.  We may meet failure, but we pick ourselves back up and do it all over again.  We learn, we grow, we endure.  Being a woman is not easy.  Each journey and path is so different for everyone.  But I just truly hope you never lose your dreams. 
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129 Responses Nov 16, 2010

Well written

I love this! It really shows the beauty that's in every stage of life, that we often forget and let slip by unnoticed.

Those who have experienced pain or learnt from other's pain has truly lived a life and hence I can say that you have really lived a life! What is your age by the way?

Hi kind woman, I can relate to all of what you said. And I am a man. But I had my dreams too. Career. I did that. I still have that and I am lucky that I Love my work and my career. I married because I wanted a family because I lost mine at a young age. I have 4 grown kids and I am a very handsome athletic man with the body of a well built 30 year old. I get looks from women younger then me all the time. I always have gotten the looks. So why was my wife never into me? I have a 3 year old grandson and a 2 year old granddaughter. I am an airline Captain with a prestigious career. So why has my 32 year marriage been so unhappy? Why does my wife resent and Hate me? I have my faults but they are not on the usual list of problem husband's. So where did I go wrong. I know now. I wanted a family it was my dream. It was not hers. I married the wrong person as she says. So we have agreed to split up but still stay married for financial reasons. But I relate to everything you said. My parents are long gone. Her's passed a few years ago. Yes I am a very sexual man but what I really want to do is relate. Share some simple good experiences. Some good conversation. Have a woman friend. Something that I have never had since I married at the age of 23, and lost when my mother divorced when I was 3 then died when I was 5. I wish I could have known her. I missed out on a lot because I cherish women but my woman does not, has never really cherished me. Like you said kind woman, that's just life. I can Handle that now. I have given up on the impossible. She gave up on me 8 years ago. She did try I give her credit. And she is a good person and mother just not affectionate. They have shared that with me. They got affection from me but I wish that they could have enjoyed that sense of wonder and affirmation from her. So we have agreed to stay married but live apart. She is thrilled to giddy. So am I. If you want to chat I would be so interested. I am a strong man emotionally and physically. I can not wait to start experiencing other women emotionally and sexualy. I am attracted to women with a strong sense of self esteem, who find themselves to be attractive looking. Or looking enough for there age. Not looking for physical perfection. A smile gets you a 5 out of 10 though in my book. A little maturity on a beautiful woman is still highly attractive. Thanks for all that you wrote. It shows a carrying and understanding sensitivity for others that is truly appreciated. And now you seem to be willing to give a little attention and loving to your self. I really hope that you succeed. Your family and friends would want you to be happy.

Love this . Thank you

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sounds better to have never lived.. sigh

All I can say is WHEW.. one big THANK YOU .. please revisit this in your 60s and in your 70s .. and I hope you get to those milestones .. again .. thank you so much ..

The article is so good. And its title is better. And you are the best.

Wow, this is amazing. Absolutely beautiful ...way to go! Very nice, perfect way of putting moments of life into words. :)I cried when reading the part about grandparents seeing their grandchildren touching!! Thank you! God bless!

This is truly amazing....beautiful....breathtaking....on so many levels, from so many different perspectives. Thank you for taking to time to craft this....and then to share it.

its really true nothing is in life by ur words i am really touched,only through experience v ll grow and learn everything. only god and self confidence help one to achieve their dreams.dont depent on others and be deattached from all,it help one to enjoy their life time.

While its a nice story, and there are a lot of common major life events listed, i don't know that they all really happen in that particular order.<br />
Still, I really liked this. Its like reading a fictional character's autobiography, and it remains relateable to some women. =)

Thanks everyone for the beautiful comments =) I am the writer, just bummed I deleted my old profile which was "demetrie1930" hence the group, "I am Finding Demetrie"

you done did good with this one baby!

This story was well-written and beautifully expressed. You, madam, have inspired me!

Astonishing Very well written and true!

love this <3

truly beautiful!

Found a quote...<br />
Dont try and find yourself, Create yourself ^_^

Hehe L0ve it!
Im 25 and dont put up with ppl's sh*t as much as i can try and with family. :-P
Great insight

i feel a bit more enlightened about the path ahead. thank you :)

now we have found out that we human......happy or sad...good or bad....we are all human......we are what we are.....nicely written

I can't figure out what this is supposed to be. It reads like a compilation of snippets from the worst "women's magazines" throughout history. It's ethnocentric, antiquated and and full of droll "observations" akin to announcing that the sun has risen yet another day. It's like reading the diary my grandmother kept at age 12. Is it meant to be philosophical?

What is Finding Demetrie?

I found that a pleasant & peaceful read. Thank you for sharing, It was a well writtne piece.

Well written..<br />
now i'm coming to my first big decision!

Wow, you are quite the writer. I am 47 years old and your words ring very true. Can't wait to turn 50 for that traveling part :) <br />
God bless you! Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

I can relate to this on so many labels. Yes, we endure a lot and face the battles as they come and some of us are strong because of what we've been through. Some of us start out with good relationships and then they start to fail for various reasons. I am at a crossroads in my life where I am going to have to start over at age 56, leave a man I loved so much but he changed the rules and now I am left to deal with it and do the best I can. We love men and try to make them happy but sometimes it just doesn't work out.<br />
<br />
Where there used to be affection there is now none and its as if we are merely friends or roommates and we don't want to go but know that its the best choice for ourselves because we still have needs that aren't being fulfilled so we struggled with the choice of whether to stay or go and wonder if we will find love again. Its a hard choice for some women and an easy choice for others. I find it a hard choice but my life is not over yet and just because he wants to sit and watch tv and do nothing else doesn't mean my life has to stop, that I no longer want to experience new things.<br />
<br />
Now we have very little in common with our husband or the man in our life and we are patient for a long while, maybe even years, but we have to ask ourselves if we are willing to live like this for the rest of our lives. The answer for me in no and yet I have so many memories with this man and I know I will miss him even though there is no real intimacy between us anymore. Its sad and we don't want to let go, we want it to work out but if only one is trying the end is obvious.<br />
<br />
I know I am not the only one who is going through this so I come on here to read if any other woman is going through the same thing and I find that there is and I make friends and talk about my life and get advice that helps because I now know I am not alone. You have summed our lives up in your story and what I get out of it is that as a woman I must endure, I must fight for happiness, I cannot give up the dream, thank you.

Thank you TONS for writing this. I'm a young adult in a bit of a pickle in my life right now. Not sure what direction to take etc; I'm always feeling like a failure, but reading this made me realize that I'm just finding my place on this earth and it make take a few times before I get it right. I can't get to where I want to go before taking a few wrong paths. I am so proud to be a woman, to one day have kids of my own and make a house a home. This world may not be perfect but it's all how you see it. Thanks again for writing that. It really opened my eyes :)

wow! that's a very beautiful thing to share.

So very well written. What a beautiful thing to share!

I apreciate, i love what you wrote, this ia tje real life, i am proud to be a woman,a wife a mom. I have no words but little by little i am walking trough your words. Thank you

I think it does address the basics of what we all face as we get older. The basics are a just a little differant than some of us. I don't know where you're at in this journey but the way you have written it is well thought out. I appreciate you for writting it.

oh but we can live until we die.

I think there is a little more to life than just living and dying. Its the way we live and the way we deal with things in our life. This was a good story and I feel sorry for you if you think life is just about living and dying.

Although there were parts here I didn't really like or feel fit into the sentence, this is very good/rings true in a very generalised sense... for example, some people (i.e. Myself. Experience in their 20s the things you'd say someone in their 30s-50s would. And for others it's the opposite...) I guess it takes too long to sort out all the variables but as I said, generalised but still a good read!

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Nice post, but I should add that not all women want to become mothers. Personally, if I never saw another child again, I'd be the happiest woman in the world.

hey being a bloke aint much easier either,,,,no matter what modern life says the weight is always thrown at u to be the main breadwinner,,,then like me when you get injured the womans off,,,26yrs of marriage and thats wat u get ,,,a lousy surprise letter saying she cant cope with her husband being an invalid??? doh,,,that she not spendin the rest of her life lookin after a cripple??? since then i have had four reasonable relationships and they all left for the same reason ,,,that i can no longer provide for their financial needs,,,,,?????? jeesh ,,,are women gettin greedier or what??,,,there must de SOME decent ones left somewhere,,,well actually i do know of one,,maybe two ,,the one is a nurse in seattle but we are only good freinds,, the other is in fergus falls,,minnesota but she may be too young to commit to me see,,, good girls are few and far ,,, most are just power crazy too,,, they want yer cash ,and their freedom ,,, dont talk to me about the life thing ,, the women in my life have just been far too one sided ,,,it takes two to raise a family like ,, so stop blowing yer trumpets ,,,,praise the men in your life aswell,,,

Probably my new favourite story on EP <br />
the passage of time and the growth of a person two beautiful things

Great Story. Great Perspective.<br />
Thank you.

Wow that is really true I'm in my late 20s and I have been throw soo much it made me tear up and smile at the same time. There is a lot of downs but you can't stay down! Wow that was good reading

*tears of happiness for this expirience.

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i find this quiet beautiful,,,i was meant to have a life like this,,,but i have a "thing",,,natures mistake

This was definately an enjoyable read. Not many EP members have a writer's flair, but you clearly do. I just hope that you figured out that your life was as it should be.

It was so well written.Express til my eyes just rolled cross the words.Non<x>stop.Like how groups us all~kewl~i like.Was an enjoyable read


I really enjoyed reading this :D thank you.

WOW, that was awesome, and it is so true. But my question is how do you start over when someone has hurt you so many times, and one day your spouse decides that he doesnt want to be married anymore, how can you cope?

Awesome words

I really needed to read this....Thank you :)

I am this women u mention! How true!


no one ever loses their dreams unless their heart stops

All I can say is WOW! Thanks!

this is well written..thanks for sharing :)


Loved how it was written... Thanks!

this is a wonderful reflection of our life as a woman. . .it made me realized that we all pass through the same stages,and that everybody is doing their thing to make it worth it in the end...

WOW..after reading your story I thought you kinda had the idea about life..BUT..then I read the comments and realized you got more feedback on this article than I did on a therapy session I gave in 1999...possibly that would be a good career choice for you..Therapist...sometimes we miss our calling.....just a thought..

very impressive and well-written! I enjoyed reading this story. Good job...


NOT all girls wanna get married you know<br />
<br />
stereotypes get on my freaking nerves

I'm not being critical of your Dreams, but your story has given me, these thoughts: Has their been Wisdom acquired from any hard reality? How did your dreams match up with results? Otherwise, a fantasy has consumed the reality desired. The Knights in shining armor, of today, are only Pipe Dreams. When someone allows another to measure their success, you may not meet their Bar. When one goes through life measuring their own success, they often clear the Bar by an overwhelming amount. Unless we are under achievers. Proactivity is reality. Dreamers are sleeping while on duty, are they naught?

Great Story!!

This is amazing!!! great job:)

The amazing thing about this is that I am sixteen and I totally understand everything you are writing here...there is so much truth and knowledge and expertise and it just makes total and complete sense. I really love this xx is one of the largest toner & inkjet cartridge distribution companies on the planet. <br />
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Beautifully wriiten.

im a guy but great story and really so true and i think we can all relate to it

so true, i'm 30 and have come across bullies all my life and last week for the first time in my life i soot up to one and put the ***** right in her place i think i'm gonna like my 30's !!

Very well said.<br />
<br />
I'm in my early 50's and maybe I'm in denial but my mind says I'm not old but my body does. <br />
<br />
Thank you!

Splendid! all i can say is splendid!

great story! love your writing skills, you go in deep detail, although everyone has a different path in life, i see your point we are women living in this time we are lucky enough to have rights not like before or in other countries where women are treated low. The best part of being a woman I think its the way we look at life and its journeys the way we mature, how we handle situations... sometimes good, sometimes we just let our emotions and feelings do all the work . sometimes we are wrong and think we are right. i think life is beautiful and feel blessed that God gave us life.

I like never read anything like this.agree with all even though im a guy

wonderful, you are so experienced to write something like this. i like it.

Wow,interesting one

Very beautiful and elegant.

So you are/were deleted eh? No wonder we're friends. ;)

This is excellent. Could be done for men as well. True we all have this kind of experience. Then we might just have others which could be complex to life threating. At 38 found I have an optic glioma and my then wife just did not fully care. At 42 we were divorced. She went to her moms and I left the area. At 65 now wonder how I will survive and who will really care. When I die and when I am gone no one will be there to carry on to carry on so this is just another experience in life.

This is so very true! I loved this! Very well-written and poignant. <br />
<br />
My own life: little girl and teenager desc<x>riptions, yes just like that.<br />
Young adult/adult--I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life but I had a lot of detours and my views and ideas on what I wanted to do changed and I did not finish college. I loved out of my mom's house. i found love and got married. I changed what my dreams were. I find out that I do not like my place in the workforce and holding down a job is very hard. I always enjoyed sex. Right at the beginning of young adulthood/late teens I lost 2 relatives.<br />
30s--I am not yet 30. I am comfortable with who I am, but not with my place in the world. I am working on being more assertive at the present time. I have not put on any weight or had any children. I have not lost a parent. I found out that I did want children, and that I do not have the money to have one, and it is a big source of stress, as all financial insufficiency is. As is seeing everyone around me having children making me feel old. I already have changed my mind about what I wanted in life. Both me and my husband have mental illnesses, as we have always. My body is not really the same as it used to be, it is less enduring than it used to be to colds, viruses, staying up late, tons of alcohol, and lots of physical work. Probably it is the smoking. I am currently trying to quit. My husband is 34 and at a different place in life, with his body and his life goals.

I hope you're right, this was beautiful

WOW beautiful

I found a little reminder to Just Hang On when life throuws us a curve ball.

Like it,likeeeeeee ittttttt!!!

Wow. This story couldn't have come at a more appropriate time for me. I am probably seeing the lowest of the low in my life right now and this was such a lift in my spirits. Thank you.

This is wonderful! <br />
I really enjoyed reading your 'phases of womanhood'.

Wow. Amazing.

I agree ooseven the beauty and hardship in every stage makes it interesting

Nicely written, there is beauty and hardship in every stage isn't it but that makes it interesting. :)<br />
thank you for sharing

so much of that is true and it's tough to keep going but u've got to be determined not to quit or give up no matter what life throws ur way...The hard times our what strengthen and shape...we have to remember no matter how bad things look there will be a can't have a rainbow w/o the rain and you can't enjoy the sunshine without the storm...You must learn to dance in the rain and in the puddles...and to find the good in everything

great job