What is normal?

To many people you would look at me and I would appear normal, but so many days I feel far from normal. 

My emotions are constantly changing in me.  One minute I could be happy as can be and the next moment I could be just as sad.  My emotions are constantly changing.  I am an extremely emotional person.

When a situation arises in life, I get highly stressed, I overreact.  For years, I've been trying to work on that, but it does not matter, I always overreact.  I am smart enough to always give myself time to calm down before I make a decision about such a situation.  

The problem with me, I think, is that I have never figured out how to think for myself or even remotely be comfortable enough in my own skin.  The way I honestly live is through other people.  I have never found my own personal hobby to get into.  You know why?  Because I'm an impatient person.  If I pick something up, I automatically assume I should be good at it.  If I pick something up and I'm not, I give up on it, and try to find something new.  

I guess, in a way, that's why I always found photography to be my out.  And that's also why I've been such a people pleaser in life.  I live through others passions in life.  I get that vibe from them, and that is honestly enough for me.

I dunno.  I am far from normal. 

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Dec 13, 2010