Why Do We Have Fingernails?

I’ve always wondered, given the fact that my own fingernails are so brittle…. Why do we have them at all? The obvious reason, of course, is for self-defense and the manipulation of objects that need to be opened; however, in this modern age, does anyone benefit from them other than manicurists and cosmetic companies?

We don’t have calciferous protection on our knees, elbows or our heels… so why on the fingers? Obviously, salons would have a hey-day if all body parts were the case (….And frankly, I’d be in more need of such protection.), but growing nails on my forearms, where my Great Dane seems to love scratching me would be much more helpful.

Nature isn’t always nurture, I suppose….. And those of us who are accident-prone don’t have the autonomic choice of guarding those body parts that are most susceptible to damage. Personally, the only damage that I do to my finger or toe nails is totally based on incompetence. If it were up to me, I’d be able to put shields around the body parts on which the most damage is incurred…. Like arms and legs. Walking into walls and bumping into tables is a much larger threat. YES I KNOW we have muscles to absorb that impact, but would it be great if we didn’t have nails and need to dispose of the obnoxious clippings?

I think that we need to start a campaign to ask whatever incompetent deity that created us (if you believe in that sort of stuff anyway) to abolish nails and just give us the same stuff that we have on our heels. Heels get rough treatment, and no one goes to a cosmetologist about them... (Okay, some of you freaky people do, I’ll admit it.). But god, if he/she/it/ exists didn’t think this one out too cleverly with respect to humans. I suppose that one has argument for evolution in this case.

I just want a break (a REAL break) from having my nails broken. You may think that it’s my age… but this has been going on for a lifetime, and although I know I can’t ‘wish’ it away, I certainly DO wish that the problem would disappear.

Do you think that Santa Claus could do this for me? (Probably not because he was just a saint and not a god…)

Anyway, I’m strictly opposed to pay-toilets, parking meters that only allow 2 hours, bi-partisan government, the metric/non-metric system, non-personified telephone messages to customers, dust (That just isn’t fair.), a plethora of human conditions that aren’t humanitarian...and finger nails, and toe nails…. And, quite frankly, we have to put a stop to all of this. All suggestions are welcome!
fishsweeper fishsweeper
56-60, F
4 Responses Dec 12, 2012

Hahaha! I just sat out on the back patio this morning with a foot file and a pumice stone, sanding off my yardworking dry heels. I agree, heels deserve a barrier of protection. It's sandal season, and I would like to write people tickets and fine them for taking their crusty exposed heels into a restaurant when I'm eating. Ewwwww. I lose my appetite. I bet you have the heels of a baby soft princess. Lol.

Don't I wish that I had baby-soft heels! I always struggle with taking care of my feet because I'm short and I never look down there! Gee... Maybe I should knock the crust off MY heels! lol

"Miss, I am going to have to write you a ticket." *snort*

Oh NO! If I promise to get a pedicure soon, can I get off with a warning?

Yes, a STRICT warning. I would have issued my own self a ticket and a hefty fine before I sandblasted this morning... at least $50.

Can I wait until it stops snowing?

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I love the way your story jumped from nails to pay toilets and back to finger nails.

Actually, finger and toe nails are an important body function. They are made of the same material as your hair...dead blood cells! Hair and nails are how your body gets rid of dead blood cells, making room for new ones. Of course, the nails do a great job of taking care of that unwanted itch! Thanks


I use mine to scratch my *** when I'm really bored or in church! Can you imagine if we had these on our knees? Yech!


No fingernails Ms Fish?! I think not! I refuse to give up the feel of a woman's well manicured and polished nail, seductively dragging down my chest, as she heads towards my promised land. :)

LOL! Mine are so fragile that I need nail polish or acrylics to keep them all in one , and I'm to lazy to bother.

I can wait. I'm a patient man. :)

Haahahahaha.... You're so funny sometimes! lol

Actually, I'm funny all the time, interspersed by periods of serious, as when I wax philosophic on your some of your finest work, like your piece on threatening China.

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