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My Marriage.

I spent 8 years as an airforce wife and mom of 4. I thought I had a good life then my ex got out of the military for a high paying contractor job he stopped coming home  then disapeared. I had to move 2000 miles back home with 4 children. Going from middle class to almost homless. I went back to college and did what I had to 2 years later my ex was found and is now supporting his children. That broke my soul and my spirit more than anyone could ever know. I changed.

My ex is now on wife number 3. I met someone. Probably out of lonliness, I dropped out of college one semester short of graduating. Dumb!!!! I moved to be closer and we married in 2006. I love him. We had a baby in 2008. However he has hurt me he talked me into joiing the service and while I was away he carried on an online emotional affair for 3 months ( 2 years ago) The woman was shocked to hear he was married. I should have left him but instead I went awol ( which I now cleared up. Another chance at bettering my life and finishing something up in smoke.

The oher day I suprised him at work and he was online looking at personals. He said to see if I was on one. Which makes no sense. He says I dont clean the house, I am lazy and a loser. ect. I can see his frustration. I am those things at the moment. I just feel no joy. I feel like I will never be truly loved. I am trying to get organized and get ahold of my life. I want to just leave and go back home but... I would be running away again. Plus be starting over again at 35. I have made some stupid decesions... I need to get back to the old me. I need to be healthy again. How do I dig out of this?!

tryinginok tryinginok 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 11, 2009

Your Response


Just listen to what your heart says. It is where the Joy comes from. Your mind is what helps you make all the decisions right. Choices I mean.<br />
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Just close your eyes and think, what will make you happy. Make a decision based on that and stick by that.<br />
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If that helps<br />
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Love n light.