I Am Following Georges Gurdjieff's Philosophy Of Living Life

I Wish I Could Disappear........

By: Ameliorate

Written on April 23rd, 2011

My real family, I dont know. My mother , father , and brother are out there somewhere in this world. They are living and suffering, I wonder if they think about me, especially my mother who couldn't care for me. Still I wish they had not taken me away, I am beyond feeling lonely. Friends? I don't remember what thjose are. I'm very tired of waking up to this life, I hate it so much. I am very angry, full of too many scars, rage, bitter, I am tired of facing the world everyday. I wish one day I will not wake up. I'm sorry this isn't a positive story, but thanks for reading.

By: Ameliorate

Age: 26-30 , Male

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4 responses

JustMarji

Unfortunately kiddo we live in a world full of people. : ( As onelastbell answered, there are good people. You must learn to weed them out, and don't live for anyone but yourself . And the animals ! ; ) Come talk to me any time.

Aug 23, 2012
1 like
Pumpkinseeds

I'm sorry to hear of your pain. I hope that things will improve for the better for you.

Jul 30, 2012
1 like
phatnhapi

Ok prayer will give you guidance and physical exercise will ameliorate some of your rage, anger, disappointment. As much as you may think you dislike people, i must suggest you volunteer somewhere, even one day a week. Helping others will also help you. Give you better perspective on life and calm you down. You never have to apologize for posting anything negative. That is the point of EP, to give you a voice for the help and advice you seek. So vent here in this safe place and receive your blessings. Write to me if you feel like discussing anything in particular or even just anything in general. I think you have a lot of potential, you are just upset by a lot of things right now. It will be ok. You will see. Do you have a job? What is it ? .... take care :) your friend .. phat :)

May 26, 2011
1 like
- Ameliorate
  Okay, I don't believe in "God", and I am a highly active person; run, cycle, attend the gym very often, this is not a source that aids my psychology on disliking people or how society functions. Why does everyone speak in such general terms? I have volunteered for the SPCA in the past, and looking into volunteering for another organization helping animals, I don't need to like people or care for many people, period. It's just not for me, I could explain further how much people misunderstand and misrepresent (therefore disliking) me, then you would fully get where I am coming from. When people don't receive you well, because you may be different, it is not easy for them to act in a way that is welcoming, or friendly. Why should I like these people who don't like me? It's not going to happen! But it's okay, I do have my life goals and lifestyle planned out- I will seek the happiness I can with what I can work with.
  
  Jul 30, 2012
  1 like

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