Forgotten On Mother's Day

It has made me feel better reading the other stories. My son (22) forgets birthdays,Mother's Day and would forget Christmas if we did not all buy presents. My youngest daughter has just biroed a card and given me a half empty bottle of vitamin pills for a joke. My eldest told me she loved me and is cooking me a meal. Thank God for that - thought that nobody cared. I do feel a bit neglected. I am a loving mother and have never forgotten my own mother's and children's 'special days'. I really feel hurt and sad.

louisecam louisecam
51-55, F
6 Responses Mar 14, 2010

To forgottenmom4: You should take the time to do something really special for yourself on Mother's Day; disappear for the day; don't even be there to miss the calls or to torture yourself about the calls that are simply not coming. Do things that YOU will enjoy doing; take a drive, go for a hike, go shopping, get a massage or a manicure, take in a movie, whatever makes you happy, or at the very least, distracted.<br />
Start a diary either in a notebook or create a file on your computer that no one else will see; make it your "***** file" and use it to spill your guts for no one else to read.... tell it like it is. This can be very liberating. (Just make sure that the file can't fall into the wrong hands.) <br />
You can also write a heartfelt letter to your sons letting them know exactly how you feel and how hurt you are by their complete lack of concern for your happiness. <br />
<br />
Take care of yourself, though. Heal.

After many years of trying to have children, I was blessed with four sons. We went through a lot after my husband died suddenly. I was left to raise them alone. Throughout it all I thought I was a good mother, did everything with and for our sons. I was the mom and the dad. Worked, took care of them, volunteered for every program they were in. Never missed a sporting event, scout event or special award. I spend every Mother's Day in tears as they don't bother to send a card, come and see me unless I volunteer to buy or cook dinner. To make matters worse they talk about the nice dinner they took their mother-in-laws to and always make a big deal out of father's day. It is the same for other holidays and my birthday. They didn't even bother to check on me when I was in the hospital. I am trying so hard to understand and not get upset. I am so deeply hurt! I know I will hear from them when they need a babysitter, dog sitter, have a problem or need to borrow money. I am looking for suggestions on how to cope with this.

I don't think it has to do with your being a good mother but rather it being a guy his age.I wouldn't take it to heart so much because I'm sure he loves you.

I am a mother of two wonderful girls who reject me every chance they get. I seldom hear from them and when I do its because one needs something from me and the other wants to remind me how awful I am. She tells me how much she hates me and doesn't want anything to do with me. As they where growing up, I was a single mother, usually working two jobs or more to provide for them. I made time to be there for them for their school functions etc.... They resent me because I wasn't truthful with them on issues that had nothing to do with them and that is my fault. I wanted to protect them from things they had nothing to do with. I gave them half truths. I never get a mother's day card, birthday, christmas or any other holiday card but I still send them gifts and cards and thngs on holidays and just because. I hope that one day they will come around. I told my daughter that she has forgotten so much of her childhood and replaced it with acts that didn't happen or she just doesn't remember it well. She doesn't want to hear anything I have to say. She visited a sister of mine for the summer and my sister reminded her of many good times we, (my daughter and I) had together that she witness. My daughter didn't remember it. She has it in her mind that I'm awful and that's that. My sister was upset with her and told her to get over herself. She stopped talking to my sister. It seems to me that my daughter has hidden resentment towards me for some unknown reason and is hell bent on punishing me for it. I can only be here for her while giving her the space and time to hate me, then come around so we could talk. Until then, any holiday that comes around, I will spend rejected by my girls. It is what it is until it isn't!

Further to my earlier post, it is Mothers Day today in the UK and I make sure that my daughter remembers her mother, to the extent of the pair of us shopping for cards, choccies and unusual gifts. May be daft, but I think its also my opportunity to let my wife know how great a mother I think she is to 'Titch'.

Your story reminded me of my own rather callous approach to my mum.I never did give her a Mother's Day card and seldom if ever even thought about Christmas or birthdays. I wish it could have been different. She died 5 years ago and now I live every day with horrible awful guilt .