I Exist!I have always been extremely quiet. I find it kind of hard to speak to people i just met and almost impossible to approach a girl. I have always been like this, in year 1, i was so reserved that i had a helper who tried to draw me out of my shell. She noticed, and she told me recently, that she knew that i was very smart and used to call me big brain. She did a good job, as by the end of primary school, i had a close group of great guys (although i never made friends with any girls).
Now i am in last year of high school. I had a good group of friends who i had often do stuff with, and whom i implanted myself in about a year and a half ago (prior to this i had no real friends, just people i ate lunch with at school). However, recently, ive been kind of drifting apart from them, not of my own accord, but because i have never had a girlfriend or hook-up, and they see me as socially awkward. I do not think i am socially awkward, just shy at first encounters with people. i currently have one true friend, and he seems to have replaced me in my group of friends. i dont even feel like sharing secrets with him anymore. And forget girls! the closest contact i had with a girl was when i sustained a converstaion for 2 minutes at a gathering at a friends house a couple of months ago.
I am trying to become more likable and gain more friends, but it is hard at such an age in high school, when everybody has their groups and friends sorted out. Everybody else is going to teenager parties, yet i have never been invited to one, let alone go to one. Also, for the senior prom, i was ignored from my friends limosine and am now facing the prospect af being carted, with my date (a girl i hardly know) by my mother, hardly an entrance to a senior prom.
Finally, i dont believe im ugly or anything, but girls dont seem to show much of an interest in me apart from for my body, which in my plentiful spare time, have built up and honed. So, my life!
jkomarzynski 16-17 4 Responses 0 Mar 9, 2011