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No Friends!!!

I am 24 years old, I live in North Carolina and have not had friends since the end of highschool, and I have not had a best friend since middle school, I am not even sure what defines a friend, just someone you talk to a lot or someone you hangout with often?? Well I have had neither. I have not yet completed college yet every semester I leave with a passing grade but with no friends. I usually think people don't like me for some reason I can't change like my height (I'm very short for a girl) or something worst.. I dress like everyone else and I know all the mainstream artist, however I am bad with pop culture I still know a little.. I will admit I do have social problems but I'm working on them, yet what I can't seem to figure out is that I've seen people in much worst situations then me yet they still have managed to make friends, it is like I can't find anyone similar to myself. And when I do find someone I want to make friends with it never works out I some how end up pushing them away...

Despite my problems I don't think it's fair that I don't have any friends, I am working on making self-improvements, I smile at people and try to be nice all the time, I'm a very kind person (sometimes not very trusting) but I am working on my flaws and I would like to have some friends!!!!!!!!!! I would like to have a best friend most importantly, but as a woman who is moving onto middle adulthood I find that women are very exclusive with who they will let into their social circle, and befriending guys is hard because they want a relationship...

I just don't know what to do.. I don't want to continue this trend well into old age, that would be a very lonely life-- yet I can't seem to brave places like night clubs or other social spots around town... I just feel like life is not fair.
prettycheeseplz09 prettycheeseplz09 22-25, F 4 Responses May 7, 2011

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Hey, i could understand you, your feelings and all. Because im exactly as you. This might happen when ppl have disturbed childhood, hurt by many in their younger age. That affect the relationship with ppl when they grow up. They really want to have friendly, happy relationship with others, but couldnt do, bcoz of some sort of fear over mingling with others. I understand you. Because me too have the same feeling as your's.

You mentioned you push possible friends away, maybe you can look into why. That seems like something that will hinder your friend making endeavors ^_^

prettycheeseplz09- I'm the same exact way as you- haven't had a friend since high school and haven't had a best friend since middle school, except I don't really want any friends- I've kinda just accepted the fact that I'm unlikable and unwanted. It's just sometimes very painful when everyone else around you has friends and people who actually want to be with them all the time. Everyone has a smartphone and is ALWAYS texting one of their many friends, so you definetly feel like something's wrong with you- but what can you do about that? If no one likes or wants you, then no one likes/wants you and you can't make them.. Life is just so horrid at times.

Oh my goodness. I cannot believe I have found a website where I do not feel alone. I TOO have no friends!!!! I have slight aquaintances (in-laws, co-workers) but no real friends. The one wonderful thing is that I have a wonderful husband who is very supportive of me and is my best friend. I know that isn't the same as those who are completely alone. So I do feel very fortunate that I have my husband because without him, I would be very, very lonely and depressed. But guess what? HE doesn't have any real close friends either! All of the people that used to be his friends either a) smoke tons of pot and don't want to hang out with us anymore because we don't smoke pot b) have kids and consider themselves to busy to spend time with people that don't have kids or don't want kids c) are jealous of us because we are in our early 30's and have a wonderful happy marriage and bought a house. Well, he thinks they are jealous anyway.<br />
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But even though my husband and I were fortunate to find each other, my husband is sad for me because he knows I long to have female friends to spend time with and confide in. My whole life, all I wanted were one or two close friends that were kind, had good senses of humour, who love music and books, and who also long for life-long, bonding friendships. And all my life I have come up empty handed. Maybe my standards are too high...but I really just want one friend or two friends to be close with and who aren't judgemental or snotty and accept me for who I am and me them.<br />
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prettycheezeplz and mayapril....I want you to know that you two aren't alone. I too share the fear that I will never truly find what I am longing for in the friend department. Perhaps we can get to know each other better on this board.