I Wish I Had Friends...but Then Again I Dont

In highschool I had about four good friends, we all had fun but I remember not really "wanting" to be their friend, I felt it was more of an obligation to have them in the first place. We all did the usual mischief and got into trouble and just had fun. But I remember the things we didnt werent nessesariliy the things I wanted to do...then it just go akward, they wanted to play Xbox games and go bike riding in the hills or party and drink with all sorts of strange "friends" of theirs. I just never wanted to do those things, I was more of a homebody, lets go to the movies or out on an adventure not party and drink beer till we act stupid...because of this we saw more and more less of eachother, now i feel like deleting them from my myspace friends because were not really friends, havent been for FIVE YEARS!!!! We just dont even know eachother anymore, I wish I could just say "Can we just pretend we never knew eachother?" and forget about them...I live my interovert life now, alone and single, church on the weekends and doing the things I want to do...I must face the fact that I may be single and alone for the rest of my life and im FINE with that!! I just wish everyone understood me, stop trying to push me into finding a "girlfriend" and stop asking "Why dont you ever do anything but sit at home?"....its my life, my burden and I must make the most of it, and if given the oportunity to go "hangout" with my old friends...I wouldnt want to...the answer would be...No Thanks. This is my life, I am...Myself

TheModernSaint TheModernSaint
2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

That's actually awesome! but then again I'm a recluse myself... but I'm glad you don't things that are stupid and bad for you. That's the best reason to have no friends ever! I'm proud of you and can understand you completely. but I've NEVER had real friends either way. I want people like you as my friends.

i can relate. i swear high school is the worse place for friends, mostly just b/c it's the same people over and over. i had friends i had known for years (some since kindergarten) and the same things happened. i was just around them for the sake of being around them. don't get me wrong we had some great times that i miss, but i was quite different from them. they suddenly ditched me and took the group with them. i can't think of anything less fun, it was tough. but at that time i really learned who i was and who my real friends were. you sound like a good person/friend though, so keep up the life that you like!