You Can Take The New Yorker Out Of New York, But You Can't Take The New York Out Of The Girl

I am a native NY er....Quick, Kind, Caring, Honest, Direct, Down to Earth & not for for the meek!
I had to relocate many years ago, lived around the U.S. mostly out west. Adapting as best as I can to when in Rome do as the Romans do....up to a point, when it clashes with my core values.  Which is when problems can sometimes arise. 
Anyway this dynamic has it's set of difficulties that us, and those who deal with us, don't clearly understand or are just unaware of.

As a transplanted New Yorker there is a lot of room for misinterpretation that your probably unaware of! The rest of the US has no idea, what makes us tick and mistakes direct for rudeness...Hell they ain't seen me when I really try to be rude!  These are products of being raised in very different cultures though it's subtle, because we are still Americans just like most of you.

So, if you come from a traditionally reserved country such as England or Japan, or from a slower paced, what you like to call laid back place of the U.S. you can check your polite reserve in at the airport when you arrive, you won't be needing it in New York. We frown on superficialness and phonies.

Here are just a few examples of these Venus vs. Mars and vice versa misinterpretations

We New Yorkers spend more time up in each other’s faces in public, and thus feel comfortable being familiar with one another, So we are not timid and are less inhibited when it comes to telling strangers they’re annoying the hell out of us.

Now this dynamic to you outsiders, is all to often 'misinterpreted' as what you label rudeness and yelling, even though our voices quiet often are not raised, but due to the fact, that we are very comfortable asserting ourselves and not afraid to exercise our consumer, employee, etc rights to remedy a situation, such as for example, a rule not being enforced, an over charge on a bill or gross mistake on a purchase, or really poor service at an expensive restaurant, getting what we paid for, or holding someone accountable for not doing as they said and etc. Well, ok :)... it's usually not something you want to hear on the receiving end.
It's not expressing happiness, it's making you aware you made a mistake and that someone, say me, wishes and expects you to fix it, and we often say please, but you may not care much for the tone.

Well, let me say this….you (non's) really can't handle it, so many non's TRY TO TURN THE TABLES ON US…with the use of passive aggression, rebellious passive aggressive disapproval and even shaming attempts to get us to back down!
They/you (the non's) like to label us as 'difficult', because many of you lack the skills to deal directly and honestly with us or anyone else, because you are not 'down to earth', 'don't want to be direct', etc. Which is fine when your dealing with each other.

From my observations over the decades.....Well, you non's may not be aware of this but I figure, it's no wonder you are all conditioned (intimidated with these techniques from a young age) that your AFRAID TO COMPLAIN in these or many and most situations, but you prefer to DRESS IT UP & call it LAID BACK, or GOING WITH THE FLOW…..That's a bunch of bull whether your aware of it or not and you guys deep down I think know it, but so do we, which often can make a transplanted NYer even more pissed and compound the situation.

So feel free to take this New Yorker view of the rest of the country, and use it when dealing with us, it will make your interactions with us go much much smoother.

SpiceZ SpiceZ
56-60, F
Sep 21, 2012