What To Do.....ok. I am sure that this is not really so unique. i just need some assurance..... i met my Aqua man about 9 months ago. we met online and talked for a a few weeks and then it got hot and heavy and very intimate. we decided to see each other. ( we live in different cities about 500 miles apart). we kept talking and it was just ok. I was in his city for a conference. We had originally planned to meet on Tuesday and if things went well we would go out on wednesday too. Before I got to his city he had a business trip come up on Wednesday and would have to leave town.I asked if he wanted to cancel. he said he didn't want to cancel and that we would just make it an early evening. Then when I got there he asked if we could get together during the day rather than at night because he wanted to have dinner with his son. I said i had a break during the day and would contact him during the day. I was in the conference and i emailed him to let him know when i could meet. no answer. then i emailed him later and still no answer. i texted and he then said he could be there at 1. I said ok. we met. he was kind of a jerk but not totally. we ended up being together and had a good time. ( i checked my work emails later and found a message that had crossed with kine that didn't show up on my phone that said he couldn't make it ( but he showed up anyway) then he went silent on me. big surprise.
so i left his city after the conference and i let him know that i was not angry but that our personal relationship was probably not going to work out but that i still wanted to work with him ( we are in complimentary fields). we have continued to work together and have developed a friendship that has aspects beyond being platonic and has lasted for 9 months. we have spoken almost every day. we have never gone more than 48 hours without communicating unless one of us was traveling for work or on vacation. we have had some arguments and still he keeps coming back. I have been emotional with him and still he has come back. he tells me about his family, his kids, where he is going and what he is doing all the time.....a few times i have asked him if he wants to re do our first date and actually leave the hotel, just hand out etc. nothing heavy and no commitment, no exclusivity.... just get together. i have told him that i am interested in him and getting o know him better. ( i have been saying this for about 6 months).
Recently, I have finally told him that i think he is a fantastic professional and i will still use his services but that it is getting to hard for me to be friends with him. That i want a deeper friendship with him that where we are and that he doesn't so i am out. the funny thing is that he argued with me about it. He was pissed off at something i said, not unjustified... i did poke the bear( i said that i could guess that he dated good looking , blond, women who were closer to his daughter's age than his and that i could guess that they were not up to snuff and unsatisfying and that when he was ready for substance to call me, ) but in his arguing he also said he likes our professional relationship and hopes we can keep it that way. I told him not to read into it too much just that i am just having a hard time continuing being his friend because i knew that he didn't seem to want the same things as i did, it was getting uncomfortable for me and i was trying to gracefully back out.
so i would have thought it was over. he answered back and and was still arguing with me about it - justifying who he dated and kept saying that he didn't date blonds ( I am a brunette) he even said that he needed to be attracted to someone to date them and it didn't have anything to do with hair color and that he doesn't date that many blonds. I answered so you are not attracted to me is that what you are saying? he answered again and was angry at my question. that he wasn't attracted to me......and he would have kept going but i finally explained it again and said why are you continuing to answer when I am giving you what you want. that stopped it all.
here is the crux. I really like him and would love to be with him but I am trying to get across to him that if he isn't even interested in spending any time with me i need to move on. he has not made it clear that he is interested in me or not ( typical aqua) and i deserve better. I deserve a man who wants to be with me , see me at least casually and get to know me and let me get to know him.
i am hoping he will realize that he does like me and will come back. He was saying that I was hounding him for a relationship and that he does just wants to keep things professional.. i have not asked him for a relationship, i have been asking him to go on a date... or just hang out. no commitment, not asking fir exclusivity. we don't really know each other that well to say if we are going to have a relationship. I just want to get to know him better and hang out, maybe casually date and maybe be intimate again, but not necessarily so.
i am so confused. what do you think is going on here? why would he continue arguing with me? is there anything there? am i crazy?