Frustration

Some days frustration totally comsumes me and I just get so lost as to what to do.  I wish I could not feel frustrated and just let go of things that are out of my control instead of letting them control me

I get mainly frustrated at my husband lack of communication, acknowledgement that I am even here and wanting to do things with me.  I try everything but seem to get no where.

I get extremely frustrated with my teen boys because they have so much opportunity in life handed to them and a bright future but they do not seem to care and hate school and just want to hang out with friends.

I also get frustrated with myself because I keep making the same mistakes and never seem to learn, it drives me nuts that I cannot get ahold of this emotion and gain some control of myself. 

This mood eats me alive on a daily basis and cannot really figure out how to deal with it.  I sometimes feel like a little kid in an adult body having a temper tantrum when all I want is calm peace and happiness.

tatteredwings tatteredwings
36-40
5 Responses Mar 25, 2009

kathygogirl...thank you for your comment I appreicate yoru wisdom and help. I have tried talking but like you said I have to start looking at me and treating myself better, hopefully one day he may come around as to how he is treating me but for now I am going to concentrate on me. Your very kind to share your experiences with me thank you

Re: the communication, I felt the same way…most of the time I learned about things because I overheard my husband telling someone else. I used to get so mad and throw a fit, but you know what, I can’t change him. All I can do is love him and know that he is not perfect (he tells me that quite often when I talk to him about it) and that he is trying the best that he can (he tells me that too!) I had to learn to take deep breaths and not jump to get so mad and that has helped a lot.<br />
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Do you guys have some things that you can do together? Or does he only want to spend time with other people? Not to be a drag, but right before I found out about my ex-husband’s affair, he started hanging out with other people, leaving me at home, even planning vacations by himself or with other people, and just plain started treating me like dirt. That was a sure sign something bad was going on but he never would admit his was having an affair until I found a journal of love letters that he had written to this girl…her name was all thru it. Sorry, not to get off on that…hopefully this is not your case! <br />
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He may not realize what he is doing to you and how it is affecting you…we all get caught up in ‘us’ and don’t always think about how our actions affect other people. I sure hope you can talk to him and let him know how you are feeling so you guys can work thru it together. <br />
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If not, there has to come a point where you start thinking about yourself…you deserve to be happy. I’m certainly not encouraging anyone to get divorced because it is the most terrible, horrible thing you could ever go thru, especially on your children, but it sure changed my life and for the better! I think I can say that now because I'm 4 years past it. <br />
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Take a breath and just try to go one day at a time…try to accept the fact that there are things that you can not control…the only thing you can control in this whole entire world is yourself, your actions and even your feelings…and don’t let them have control over you.<br />
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Please take care of yourself and let me know how you are doing! and please don't take any of this as a lecture...it is all said with the utmost love and respect for you as a woman. I know how you feel.

CallmeNutz.....nope was not offended and appreciate your comment which makes sense, we have tried therapy which didnt work too well, but will keep trying and thank you again :)

Please dont take this as judging you in anyway but have you or you and hubby ever had any kind of therapy??<br />
Ive been there myself, sometimes it helps, sometimes its no help but at least you have someone you can talk to, and youll also find your perfectly normal, your kids are perfectly normal and your marriage is common.<br />
Maybe something good can come out of it, maybe it can just help you maintain a sense of sanity.<br />
Im sure theres a ton of books and articles on the net as well.<br />
I do know one thing, I do realize it helps a lot to be able to vent to others that relate and understand, like your doing here.<br />
Hopefully this made some sort of sense and didnt offend you in anyway, it sure wasnt meant to. I very much sympathize with you. Ive been married 25 years and have 2 sons 17&20.<br />
I know its not easy on me and Im the lazy husband in our house.I give you Moms and wives all the credit in the world.

Thanks for understanding