Depression Like ****

iam ,well im pre op everything ..since my country never allowed ppl to do transition ..i seen a lot of video on yt about this transition ..its make me feel like **** seen others ftm already change to what their mind want ..sometimes i cry ,sometimes i feel like want to die ..this is not me ..this is not the body that i want .this just not me ..i never talked to anyone about this ..also my family ..well ,im muslim , and my family is a bit conservative ..neither my gf ..she said she like me the way i am ..with this ******* boobs ,period every month ,,it just make me feel disgust with my self 22 now , and i been thinking about transition since i was 14 i think ..i really need to get rid this filthy thing on my chest ..been crying almost every week about this ..hmm .. for 22 years ,no one ever heard what i really want ..its sucks ..

* sorry for my bad english ..its not my 1st languages .. =")
iamnotwhatiam iamnotwhatiam
22-25, T
May 14, 2012