I've Known I Was Male Ever Since I Was a Little Boy

I was born Ashley. As a child I always identified with my male friends and didn't have any problems until I was 10 and learned the difference between boys and girls. It wasn't until high school that I started having doubts about my gender expression, which at that time was somewhat female.

I have always been interested in medical procedures and psychological conditions, and SRS surgery and Gender Dysphoria always interested me. I never thought anything of it until one day I flipped on the tv and saw a man who said he was born female. I looked back on my life at all the times my friends joked with me about "You're my best guy friend," or "I think you'd make a great dad," and how I had felt so proud when people said these things to me. I realized I was Ftm.

I told a few of my friends, and even one of my friend's parents, and they are cool with it, they just worry about me going under the knife. My mom is a different story. She outright asked me "What? Do wanna be a guy or something?" I have never been able to lie to her and told her the truth. She is infuriated. She has told me that I might as well be dead. Although I love my parents very dearly, transitioning is something I need to do. I have two jobs and am saving up for transportation and a place to live.

Since I lack the funds to begin my physical transition, I have done a few inexpensive things to help with passing. I got a haircut the eccencuates my masculine hairline, I bind my rather large breasts, I voice stretch everyday, and take 100mg of DHEA everyday. So far I am passing quite well.

loserski loserski
18-21, M
10 Responses Jul 6, 2008

It is indeed hard to come out, especially to our parents. Although we have the sense of fear within ourselves when it comes to this, there will be a day when we have/gain the courage to come out and no longer hide our true selves.

Try to sympathize with your parents. When a parent finds out that their little boy or girl is trans they freak out (mainly because they aren't educated on the topic). They tend to become very protective and concerned with the child's future. Every parent (even if they are accepting) becomes VERY worried for their child because transitioning is a very long and hard process that they don't want to see their child struggle through. And even if the child's parent becomes educated they will probably still have doubts on if their kid should take the risks of transitioning.

Of course there is the added fact that parents don't know what its like to be trans. Try your best to educate them and explain to them that this is who you are, and you can't be someone your not because no one should have to fake who they are just to feel accepted.

I'm 14 and I am FTM. I discovered who I truly was about two years ago. Going through life being trans is herd but I think the benefits can make it worthwhile :) I came out to my family and CLOSE friends about a year ago, they were all pretty accepting especially my mom.

At 56?<br />
<br />
Would they?<br />
<br />
With heart problems...I don"t think so!<br />
<br />
I just tuck certain things away and pray for the day my 28<br />
<br />
yo son leaves home!<br />
<br />
He goes to work at 6am ,returns at 6 pm, & i live as <br />
<br />
Shauna all day!.....Yes I do step outside of the front <br />
<br />
door! I feel natural as me!!<br />
<br />

Have you seen your doctor about going on testosterone? That would be your next move. :-)

MY thoughts go to all of you!<br />
<br />
What a cruel world in which we live!<br />
<br />
I am a m2w dresser, who prefers my life as a female<br />
<br />
To you w2m, I so wish you get closure and live a long happy life, The way YOU want to live!<br />
<br />

Interesting. My initial reaction is "What?!?! Why in the world would you want to give up being a girl?" But at the same time, since I wish I were a girl sometimes, I understand how you may feel. At least you have to courage to do something about it, and not just in private or online.

Hi Ashley love,<br />
I wish you every happiness in your transision however I would like to give you one piece of advice, Don't try to do it on your own, make your transition with the aid of a qualified doctor, also join a transgender group if possible as you will need quite a bit of help.<br />
Kindest thoughts for you Monicagirl

Good luck Ryan! Coming out is scary as hell, but after you've told a few people it gets easier. I haven't told my dad either. I hope he takes it better than my mom :/

i wish you all the best...i am terrified to tell my parents....i have always felt as though i was male but my dad sees me as his little girl so it's going to be so hard

I hope everything goes well for you. I know it can be hard. I wish you peace.