Coming Out, Life, College, And Cosplay!

So I know I haven’t post anything for a while now. I have had a few things going on lately. I guess firstly I should start off saying that I came out to my parents and paternal grandparents. I came out to my grandmother first. It was the easiest out of my family so far. I came out to my parents next by letter via email. This was the easiest way on me and the only way I knew I couldn’t chicken out. They didn’t take me telling them by letter very well and I don’t think they really know how to take it. I mean I can’t ask them to use the correct pronouns and stuff yet because the rest of my family doesn’t know and I scared of how they will take it. I live with my Aunt, Uncle, and maternal grandmother and I work with my other Aunt and Uncles and am employed by my maternal grandfather. It’s really hard for me. My paternal grandfather thinks I’m just doing this because I’m a lesbian which isn’t true. I tried to tell him I’m gay but he didn’t listen. My dad has talked about it to a few of his co-workers. I’m not sure what they said. In fact I’m not even sure if I know them.
On another note I don’t think any of my friends are getting it. They still refer to me as Sarah and are still considering me female. I know I can’t be too hard on them because they only ever see me on facebook I don’t hang out with any of them anymore that most of us are out of school. The only friend I know for a fact is cool with it is my best friend. We have been through a lot of stuff together and she said she would be dammed if this tore us apart. Of course she also joked around say I could finally get that gay boyfriend I’ve always wanted. I love her to death. I have some friends who do understand and are proud of me for coming out and they have said I seem more happy and content with life now. I have a more positive vibe.
Since telling my friends and parents I’ve come to realize I’m not as shy when I’m binding and fitting in as a guy. I’ve been mistaken for a guy a few times which made me happy. I’m always afraid that I won’t fit in as a guy because of my flamboyant nature.
Wow this post is gonna be everywhere. Well I’ve finally ordered my first binder. Up in till now I would just layer or occasionally use an ace bandage. I know I know. I shouldn’t have used one. While I didn’t have trouble breathing (I used to wear corset dresses so I’m used to little airflow) it would start to hurt if I wore it for long periods of time and I hate the slipping. The slipping was the worst. But I won’t have to worry about that any more. I ordered the 997 from Underworks. I’m now waiting for it to come in.
So last thing I want to talk about is my plans. I wish I could start therapy and t sooner but unfortunately I’m starting college next month and as I said I’m living with family who don’t know and I don’t know how they are gonna take it. So my plans are next month I’m gonna start myself a savings account and save up to start everything after college or something else happens. I don’t plan on telling the rest of my family until I know I have someplace to fall back on. So as of right now my plans are to wait for after college and save up my money until then. Until then I’ll just fit in as best as I can.
Sorry that this is all over the place. My mind is all over the place and I haven’t been able to organize anything at the moment. Plus I’m just now coming into the world of Cosplay and I’m hoping I’ll make it down to Florida for Metrocon this July.
SentimentalRomantic SentimentalRomantic
18-21, T
Dec 13, 2012