Back-stroking

sign.......... I have written here confessing to ..."going with the flow" of life. Always thought, told myself never Look-back. But you know, like a good friend said recently... sometimes the things you desire, need most in life ... has always been within, known to you.

Once upon a time I lived my dreams. I owned a greenhouse, sold my plants, work was a pleasure! I had all kinds of gardens,.. from grapes to strawberries too. I canned my fruits and veggies. I made wreathes from my everlasting flowers I grew. I had chickens, rabbits, my once a year hog....I loved my life and who I was.

Then I met a man, I left my life behind to follow him. Sold everything I loved and then spent 16yrs in hell! Oh.. it wasn't all bad BUT.... I went thru changes, became someone else, lived a different life-style. Sure we returned to my hometown, area a few years later. I bought one acre when I returned home, I tried to build up ... my life as I once known and loved. Knowing it's not the same but .. good enough. Then my fire and now 8 yrs later.... :-(

Well, this weekend I went for a visit to my hometown. I interacted with old friends, mother and drove around... dreaming, thinking of ... once upon a time thingy! This thought ..hit me upside my head and ran thru me like a bolt of lighting... Well, Deb... why not try one more time to be who you really wish to be... A country gal, with gardens, canning, fishing and chickens again. *smile*

I drove back to my house here in Indiana, for two hours my mind was in deep thought. I know what will make me happy. But was it possible? huh... I have a room mate now, a good friend I trust and came home all winded for sound and was jabbering away with all these thoughts. He asked... well, do you need help, company in making this a reality for yourself? Welllll, heck... you know I do. It's hard to pull off a grandslam like this, by myself on sooooo many levels. He thought getting out of Indiana and going to no-man's-land, living a common, simple life would be perfect. He had no ties here, no family and ... why not!? toooo cool!

So, between income tax returns ..real soon and with the money I can save with a room mate and all ....winter here in Indiana, in the spring, 6 months from now... ...save, plan, look for a place or land... A move back to the country, back home... is more than possible. It's a GOAL! *smile*

So.... today is the first day for the rest of my life! I am going to back stroke it up stream to where I know I belong. In this day and age... going back to a place where I can work the land and live a simple life... It can be an answer to many of my problems... if not all of them. Between being back in the country, being around old friends and family... wellll... I am pleased to think ... I can return, back-up, redo myself and made me happy! Always enjoyed the back stroke! Any ol' way... *smile*
MorningBreeze MorningBreeze
56-60, F
7 Responses Nov 26, 2012

Thank you for this, Morning. I really needed to hear about someone reaching for their dreams today.

Thank you Plaid :-) It's not just a dream but a way of life that I need to return too.

You ALL amaze me with all the kindness, listening with your hearts...THANK YOU! Some of you have watched me run around like a chicken without a head for years now. lol... Sounding off, drawing at straws and... giving it all I got to be happy, at peace. Wellll, even if I go allll alone, I am going back home! NO MORE STARTING OVER! I will go back to square one where I smiled inside. ..oh.. and carry my laptop as I go. hmmm *smile* xoxox

Sometimes you have to go with a different flow. Sounds beautiful.

I know that I am returning to where my flow of life was it's greatest.. bestest! *smile* Thank you.

Very inspirational story.

This friend .. .. well I was just wondering, any chance of romance?

huh.... romance.. for real... really its the last thing on my mind. For us getting along, I tell him things that I share with no one. For our relationship... it's better then romance!

Wow! Just when I think EP can't get anymore pitiful, I read something awesome like this.
Breezy, your plans sound absolutely wonderful. You listened to your heart!
Sounds like you will have a glorious rebirth this spring. :-)

crying, laughing with all these supporting words from you all! lol... Yup, I really do know what I want and who I really am. And I want, need it to return to ... what made me happy for a very long time. Now... I push ahead to get back to where I know I need to be. Thank you so much! Funny how loud my heart can ... sing! *smile*

*Big smile*

giggling right on back at ya! *smile*

oh...Thank you too Datura!

~stands and cheers for you~

As I was rereading this.. I started crying out of joy. Thank you! This isn't just a passing fancy but... me returning to ...me! *smile*