Back-stroking

sign.......... I have written here confessing to ..."going with the flow" of life. Always thought, told myself never Look-back. But you know, like a good friend said recently... sometimes the things you desire, need most in life ... has always been within, known to you.

Once upon a time I lived my dreams. I owned a greenhouse, sold my plants, work was a pleasure! I had all kinds of gardens,.. from grapes to strawberries too. I canned my fruits and veggies. I made wreathes from my everlasting flowers I grew. I had chickens, rabbits, my once a year hog....I loved my life and who I was.

Then I met a man, I left my life behind to follow him. Sold everything I loved and then spent 16yrs in hell! Oh.. it wasn't all bad BUT.... I went thru changes, became someone else, lived a different life-style. Sure we returned to my hometown, area a few years later. I bought one acre when I returned home, I tried to build up ... my life as I once known and loved. Knowing it's not the same but .. good enough. Then my fire and now 8 yrs later.... :-(

Well, this weekend I went for a visit to my hometown. I interacted with old friends, mother and drove around... dreaming, thinking of ... once upon a time thingy! This thought ..hit me upside my head and ran thru me like a bolt of lighting... Well, Deb... why not try one more time to be who you really wish to be... A country gal, with gardens, canning, fishing and chickens again. *smile*

I drove back to my house here in Indiana, for two hours my mind was in deep thought. I know what will make me happy. But was it possible? huh... I have a room mate now, a good friend I trust and came home all winded for sound and was jabbering away with all these thoughts. He asked... well, do you need help, company in making this a reality for yourself? Welllll, heck... you know I do. It's hard to pull off a grandslam like this, by myself on sooooo many levels. He thought getting out of Indiana and going to no-man's-land, living a common, simple life would be perfect. He had no ties here, no family and ... why not!? toooo cool!

So, between income tax returns ..real soon and with the money I can save with a room mate and all ....winter here in Indiana, in the spring, 6 months from now... ...save, plan, look for a place or land... A move back to the country, back home... is more than possible. It's a GOAL! *smile*

So.... today is the first day for the rest of my life! I am going to back stroke it up stream to where I know I belong. In this day and age... going back to a place where I can work the land and live a simple life... It can be an answer to many of my problems... if not all of them. Between being back in the country, being around old friends and family... wellll... I am pleased to think ... I can return, back-up, redo myself and made me happy! Always enjoyed the back stroke! Any ol' way... *smile*
MorningBreeze MorningBreeze
56-60, F
8 Responses Nov 26, 2012

Thank you for this, Morning. I really needed to hear about someone reaching for their dreams today.

Thank you Plaid :-) It's not just a dream but a way of life that I need to return too.

You ALL amaze me with all the kindness, listening with your hearts...THANK YOU! Some of you have watched me run around like a chicken without a head for years now. lol... Sounding off, drawing at straws and... giving it all I got to be happy, at peace. Wellll, even if I go allll alone, I am going back home! NO MORE STARTING OVER! I will go back to square one where I smiled inside. ..oh.. and carry my laptop as I go. hmmm *smile* xoxox

Sometimes you have to go with a different flow. Sounds beautiful.

I know that I am returning to where my flow of life was it's greatest.. bestest! *smile* Thank you.

Very inspirational story.

This friend .. .. well I was just wondering, any chance of romance?

huh.... romance.. for real... really its the last thing on my mind. For us getting along, I tell him things that I share with no one. For our relationship... it's better then romance!

Oh wow! Sounds idyllic, lately I've been wandering if I'm in the right place for me, can't decide if my desire to move on is me running away or a bright idea! You sound like you seriously have it sussed for yourself, I hope it brings you your peace.

The peace and smiles I wore this weekend ...well... I haven't had that in... 20 yrs. lol... Soooo, I am going to "run" back home where my heart and soul can be at peace once again. With alot of help from my friends and family. It's a reachable goal, a life! Daylight a-burning at my age... no time to waste.

Wow! Just when I think EP can't get anymore pitiful, I read something awesome like this.
Breezy, your plans sound absolutely wonderful. You listened to your heart!
Sounds like you will have a glorious rebirth this spring. :-)

crying, laughing with all these supporting words from you all! lol... Yup, I really do know what I want and who I really am. And I want, need it to return to ... what made me happy for a very long time. Now... I push ahead to get back to where I know I need to be. Thank you so much! Funny how loud my heart can ... sing! *smile*

*Big smile*

giggling right on back at ya! *smile*

oh...Thank you too Datura!

~stands and cheers for you~

As I was rereading this.. I started crying out of joy. Thank you! This isn't just a passing fancy but... me returning to ...me! *smile*